Not the Last Post!

Because of a very annoying computer glitch I haven't been able to post or to reply to comments. Please accept my apologies. Everything now is back to normal and I'll be posting again next week.
Thanks for not giving up on this blog!

Essence Relationships

We think of Essence relationships as something very beneficial - a vitally important link to other people, much stronger than relationships formed in Personality.

And often that is exactly what they are. Our spouse, our children, our parents are all related to us in our Essence, and our feelings for them are very deep.

If we're lucky enough to find Essence friends, we cherish these relationships and value them above most others in our lives.

Essence friends are people with whom we're very close and connected at a fundamental level. This connection can be through our common spiritual journeys, especially if we are in the Work and develop friendships among others in our group.  But it may also be formed by other religious contacts, such as people we meet at church, or in a philosophical or religious discussion group, and to whom we're drawn through a common interest and outlook.

Sometimes they develop through our hobbies; perhaps we've taken an art class, for example, and found someone there whose ideas we share, and with whom we develop a friendship. Any pursuit which brings people together to follow a spiritual, intellectual or creative path can lead to strong Essence friendships, and is one of the benefits of such groups.

But not all Essence relationships are good for us in the long run. It may be that we find ourselves drawn to people who don't have our welfare at heart. We recall that Gurdjieff taught that all sexual contacts take place in Essence, no matter how casual, how unpleasant, or how harmful they may turn out to be.

This is because our Essence is often childish and unable to make good judgments about whether those we choose to spend time with - let alone share our lives with - are actually going to hurt us.

False Personality plays a part in bringing about such sexual relationships, for we may be attracted to those whom we know, at an unconscious level, are bad for us. Such a relationship can easily become abusive, but is always codependent and therefore very difficult to break away from.

All therapists have known people trapped in such relationships. They bring much grief and sorrow, and can even cause death when one of the partners becomes so unhappy that they wish to end their life.

Personality and False Personality are, of course, the main initiators of abusive relationships but, once they have become sexual, they are Essence relationships, and as such they are very, very harmful. They can cause us to fall into depression; to relapse into addiction; to harm ourselves; to leave the Work, or abandon our religious beliefs. Again at the unconscious level, we may realize that our abusive relationship is in conflict with what our Higher Power, or Conscious Humanity, wishes for us. But the codependence is so strong that we feel paralyzed, unable to free ourselves.

Essence friendships can also turn sour. At the beginning of this post, I noted that our close family relationships are in Essence, and we know how destructive the family can be. Parents and children may bear one another ill will for some long-ago incident; sibling rivalry is very real and painful; and the Bible notes that a person's worst enemies "are those of his own household". This, of course, refers to our spiritual world as well as our actual, physical household.

 And so it can be with Essence friendships. What was once a source of joy can become a festering pit of resentment. All too often, relationships that have progressed to become part of our Essence can later become contaminated with I's in False Personality.

This happens because, as we are, we cannot "do". We so easily fall back into False Personality, especially when someone "treads on our corns", and all those resentful, angry and arrogant I's spring forth to defend some imaginary insult or avenge some perceived slight. Sometimes this is the fault of both people in a relationship, who have not been working on themselves and have not observed the gradual slide into False Personality that has taken place in their interactions.

Sometimes it is mainly the fault of one person, usually the man or woman who has been in the Work for a lesser amount of time, or who is less developed spiritually no matter what the context is; or who has not been working on themselves for some while.

If both people have good will and wish to repair the quarrel, they may invoke the Third Force of the Work to bring about reconciliation, and clearly this is the best course of action. It can be done by both parties' externally considering one another, and seeing their own part in the misunderstanding. They may pray about the relationship, entrusting it to their Higher Power, to Conscious Humanity. If both are willing to do this, the result is usually a relationship that has become stronger because of their efforts. It will be stronger, in fact, than if the breach had not taken place, because both have had to make Work efforts and will appreciate the relationship all the more.

The problem is that it takes not only good will to bridge a gap, but insight and remorse. Both people must examine their conscience and see where they went wrong. Such a process is painful and difficult, and in Life it is often shirked. The result is a string of broken relationships, hurt feelings, and family quarrels.

In the Work we cannot avoid this process if we wish to remain in a good spiritual state, and able to make progress. No matter how hard it is, we must be willing to examine ourselves and see where we may have contributed to the brokenness. To do this requires humility, the very opposite of the False Personality, arrogant, "hot air" I's, which prefer to keep a quarrel going, and rather enjoy feeling angry and hurt!

But if the result is to repair an Essence relationship, the effort will be very worthwhile.

And if, unfortunately, we are forced to realize that the other person cannot change, cannot experience remorse, and that consequently they will continue to act destructively, then the relationship must be ended for our own sake. In such a case we must forgive the other person, because it is not their fault that they are unable to make efforts. And then, having forgiven them and entrusted their care to Conscious Humanity, we simply let go.

The Summer Solstice, Personality and Essence

We're now at the climax of the Sun's powers in the Northern Hemisphere. As the Earth tilts towards the Sun, so the days grow longer and the strength of the Sun's rays increase.

But now, after the Solstice and marking St. John's Tide (June 24th), we experience the beginning of the second major cycle that makes up the Earth's year: the breathing in which takes place from St.John's Day (celebrated as Midsummer throughout Europe and Russia) until Christmas.

The two festivals are perfectly balanced. The Earth's year comprises one complete breathing cycle. From Christmas Eve until St. John's Tide the Earth breathes out all she has received from the furthest reaches of the Universe. Then, six months later, the Earth once more begins to breathe in, culminating in the Feast of Christmas.

St. John's Tide is the feast day of John the Baptist, who said "He must increase, and I must decrease". He, of course, is Christ, the Head of Conscious Humanity, whom we may approach through our Essence, through Real I.

It was always explained in groups that St. John the Baptist represents the highest level of the Personality, someone who has seen and understood the purpose of the spiritual life, and whose deepest wish is to practice what he has learned, and to inspire others to do the same.

The skillful I's in Personality are of use only when they serve Essence, however. There is no point in serving the Personality for its own sake, as this only leads to deeper enmeshment in Life; and Life, as we all know, leads nowhere but stays on its own level.

When Personality serves Essence, however, we are structured aright in our inner lives. Essence which has matured through spiritual work knows and understands what must be done in each situation. It is Personality which gives the individual the power to respond with appropriate actions at the right time. This is right ordering of the two.

To take an example from my own life, I trained as both a teacher and a writer, because my Essence and Personality enjoyed these activities and I wanted to learn to do both of them as well as I could.

When I began to understand the Work, and was eventually authorized to teach it, those Personality I's which had studied and practised how to teach and how to write really came into their own. They now serve my Essence, which loves the Work and longs to help others to understand it.

When I teach and when I write I'm in my Essence. Of course, there are many other activities which also stem from the needs and desires of Essence: listening to beautiful music, especially Eastern Orthodox and Western sacred liturgical music, and the great composers of the Renaissance; when I'm painting; when I'm outdoors, surrounded by nature, in the countryside or at the seashore, or simply gardening in our long back yard; reading poetry, especially Christian and Sufi poems; and many, many more.

Most of them, however, don't require any special skills to carry them out. But teaching a class or a Work group, or writing - whether it's this blog, a book, or an article for publication - all call for trained skills, which Essence uses to express itself in these activities.

In the same way, people who've made a difference to the world (and I don't mean here the Sacred Messengers, but simply ordinary men and women of good will, living at the level of the Good Householder) have had trained Personality I's which were useful to the impulses that came to them from Higher Centres, from their Essence, perhaps even from Real I.

I'm thinking here of people such as Dr. Martin Luther King, who trained as a preacher and spoke most eloquently to the crowds, and whose commitment to the right action demanded that he be willing to sacrifice his life. His sacrifice, and his words, brought healing and justice to the black people of America who had been cruelly oppressed for more than a hundred years.

Think, too, of Mahatma Gandhi, the lawyer whose words and deeds culminated in ending the British Raj in India, putting an end to centuries of exploitation. He, too, worked with a trained and highly intelligent legal mind, and he also sacrificed his own life for the cause of justice.

Closer to our own time, I think of Nelson Mandela, whose refusal to seek revenge for his imprisonment led to a great breakthrough in human rights in South Africa. Like Dr. King and Gandhi, Mandela was committed to justice and equality, and like them, his own actions brought about a healing of divisions in South Africa so that apartheid was ended and power shared between blacks and whites.

Dr Nicoll and Mrs Pogson used to speak of the great sacrifices made by very young pilots in World War II, who knew they faced probable death and yet gave their lives to fight for the cause of freedom and liberty, and oppose the demonic Nazi regime which threatened the world. Dr  Nicoll thought these incredibly brave young men had incarnated for that purpose, and that somewhere deep within they knew this, and remembered their mission. That war was truly a battle of good against evil, and it was not a foregone conclusion that the good would win - at times, it seemed that evil had the upper hand, and it was only through the willing sacrifices made by men such as these, "the Few", that civilization was saved.

All of these men - and there are, of course, many more, including women, who are both known to us and unknown - allowed their Personalities to be used by something higher. They
embodied the principal of the Baptist, by letting their own wishes be subordinated to a higher influence, that of Conscious Humanity, which used these willing "volunteers" to bring about an improvement on the Earth.

Of course, there is no real progress overall in Life, and the most we can hope for is to stave off disaster, to make things a little better here and there, and to work towards becoming more conscious and helping others to do so, so that eventually the level of humanity may rise and a real transformation can occur. But it is not certain that any such breakthrough will ever occur.

As the Talmud says, we may not be able to complete the task, but neither are we free to desist from the effort.

When speaking of these matters, both Mrs Pogson and my own teacher, Mrs Davison, would ask us whether we could be used by something higher. It is a question we should ask ourselves, especially now, when at the Summer Solstice our actions in the world are emphasize.

 And if not, what would stand in the way?

A Quick Post About My Book .....

My book, "A Raging Thirst", is now out in paperback! 

Excuse this minor trumpet note, but I've been told by quite a few people that the Kindle edition, out for two years now, has really helped them.  So - with the encouragement and help of another Work teacher and of my spiritual advisor - I decided to go ahead and publish my book in paperback form.

It's now available to buy from Amazon, and I've priced it as cheaply as possible so that it may reach the people who will benefit from it. 

The Kindle edition is free of charge if you belong to the Kindle library programme, and the new print edition (revised and updated) will soon also be available on Kindle.

Who might benefit from reading it?

Anyone interested in the Work; the Twelve Steps; Catholic teachings on suffering; the Sufis; alcoholism and other addictions; and disability.

Anyone with an addiction problem or who has a family member or friend with such a devastating illness.

Anyone who lives with disability and pain.

Anyone in the Work or in the Twelve Step programmes, or who is interested in the Christian teachings on suffering and how all these paths may be connected.

I've already had great feedback on all these issues, and several people have pointed out that my memoir is unique in combining so many different areas and explaining how they mesh together.

It's a very personal story, and writing it was a true labour of love. Love for the Work, for the Twelve Steps, for Christian teachings on redemptive suffering, and above all, love for my family. 

Writing honestly about oneself is a very difficult task. But it's very necessary - if a memoir is meant to help people, it can only do so when the author includes her "warts and all". So that is what I have done, and I hope it will reach all those who may be helped by what I've written.

Of course, years of being totally honest with myself in my Work observations, and honest with my family and friends about my experiences, have helped me write truthfully and with understanding.

There's no point in any form of autobiography, including a blog, unless the writer is prepared to tell the truth. Otherwise, he or she might just as well take out an ad! Post a selfie!

But in being so honest, all of us who strive to follow the path of truthful self-disclosure with the aim of helping others are bound to come in for some criticism from formatory thinkers, and those who haven't managed to break free of their judgmental, critical I's.

So be it. Just as there's nothing to be gained by going to an AA meeting or sharing your Work observations unless you tell the truth, so there's no point in trying to make oneself look good in a memoir or a blog. Everyone will see through it, and you will gain nothing. Nor will anyone else.

So, if you're interested in reading my sometimes painful and "brutally honest" (in the words of one reviewer) memoir, please either buy it cheaply as a paperback, or download it for free.

I'm trusting that the Work and Conscious Humanity will see that it falls into the hands of those who may gain insight from reading it. Therefore, this is the only notice that you will see. I'm not interested in making money from my writing or in becoming famous. I've already achieved recognition in my career as a journalist, under various noms de plume to preserve my anonymity and that of my family.

My sole aim writing this memoir was to tell my story and share my understanding, so that others may be helped.

If you haven't read it, I hope you will. And if you know anyone who might benefit from reading it, then please pass it on to them.

And thank you for reading this post!

The Festivals of Ascension and Whitsun, and Cosmic Energies

At the end of May, we have just celebrated the Feast of the Ascension. Today, the 31st, commemorates the visit of Mary to her cousin, Elizabeth, who was to be the mother of John the Baptist, and Elizabeth's greeting of her, which forms the first part of the Hail Mary prayer. 

Then, at the weekend, we will be moving firmly into early summer with the Festival of Whitsun, or Pentecost, celebrating the descent of the Holy Spirit as the disciples, together with Mary, waited in the Upper Room at Jerusalem as they had been told to do.

Pentecost comes 50 days after the Resurrection, and 50 is a number of great significance in esoteric studies. It symbolizes a great change, a freedom from the past, and a time of celebrating and feasting. Today, in Israel, the entire nation is celebrating a Jubilee Year, and the Jubilee of Jerusalem is especially important in the mystical teachings of esoteric Judaism. 

To Christians in the United Kingdom, the Feast of Pentecost has always been marked with special celebrations. Until recently, it was the custom for Christians in the North of England to hold parades, complete with brass bands, when families would all put on new clothes for Whitsun, and mark the birthday of the church with parties and dances. My own parents and their brothers and sisters would recall these festivities, which were a huge break from everyday life, and impressed on the children the importance of  Pentecost.

We can see this mood enhanced and reflected in the weather as the seasons change from late spring to early summer. The lengthening of the day is very obvious now; the sun is stronger; the countryside, the town parks and individual gardens are full of flowers and scents, as though Nature herself were joining in the celebrations of this great and ancient feast.

We can see how the Earth, turning now towards the Sun and towards the centre of our galaxy, is receiving special influences, from closer at hand than before. There is a real difference in the energies that permeate the very elements at this time, and these changes are the real reason why this time of year was the start of something quite new. Especially are we graced with fresh energies from the Sun, and from the Sun's Sun, as it were, the Dog Star, Sirius.

Our Sun revolves around Sirius, as we have been noticing. And Sirius, in turn, revolves around an even greater Sun, so that the entire galaxy is in motion, in a perpetual dance of joy and celebration.

Recall that we've passed the past eight months in focused, concentrated, inner work.

Since the Feast of St Michael at the end of September, and the harvest festivals and Jewish New Year of the September/October period, we've been remembering the eternal truths which Christianity, Judaism and the Work all teach us. 

We've been reminded of our own death; of the new birth which takes place at Christmas for those who have worked for it; of the celebrations of this new life and its beginnings in the world; and of the period of fasting and abstinence in Lent which prepares us for the Easter Passion Drama. 

We've recognized the changing seasons, their different energies, and the cosmic patterns which fit us for different types of work on ourselves as the year progresses.

Now, after the huge, most important time of all - the Easter drama, the Resurrection and the Ascension - we can have reached the time of Pentecost.

From the furthest reaches of space, from other suns and faraway galaxies, those of us who  are sensitive to such changes have experienced this whole time as especially propitious for our own personal work on ourselves.

When Pentecost comes, the emphasis falls differently. We now take all that we have learned and received from this remarkable journey and practice it as best we can in the external world. The time is now ripe for groups, for gatherings of all kinds, and for group work.

In our own lives, we try especially to live what we have learned, to practice external considering, to transform our mechanical reactions into the conscious reception of impressions. We need to do this all year, of course, but now, as the seasons propel us into summer, we emphasize putting it all together in a very real and practical way among our friends, our families, our colleagues, our fellow Work students. And as we do so, so others also gain the possibility of transformation.

Each season is different and unique, but each offers a particular way to practice the Work.

Looking at the cosmic dance of Suns and planets, we understand why it is most appropriate that the Ascension has recently taken place. Just as Christ ascends to heaven, so the extra-terrestrial, even extra-galactic, energies recede from us so that we can no longer directly perceive or experience them.

Jesus Christ returns to the Father; the influences from far, far afield - even from the sphere of the Most Holy Sun Absolute - seem now to return to their source. Of course, it is we, on our small and insignificant planet, who have moved. We are powerless to resist the changes, but we can benefit from the new and different influences that are apparent now.

 We cherish all that we have learned and assimilated, and take it into the world around us during the summer season.

The flames of Pentecost are reflected in the hotter, warmer sunshine we often experience. But even when the weather disappoints us, we can still feel the underlying shift of emphasis in the energies of this season, and if we are more awake we respond to it through our Higher Centres.

And as we remember this Feast, we can understand what a tremendous shock it gave those first disciples.

Nothing like it had ever happened in the world. Just as Jesus's entire ministry and Passion were unique and pioneering, so was - and is - Pentecost, for us as for them.

The first disciples were suddenly given the power to do. They began to communicate in unheard-of ways, to experience new emotions and new powers. Before Pentecost, they had been meeting together in prayer every day, but with no understanding or expectation of what was to come.

Because they were gathered together as a group, the shock they received was all the more powerful. They were welded together as a group, as the first church, and they were able - thanks to the shock of the Holy Spirit - to go out into the world and evangelize, just as they had been instructed. 

Before Pentecost, they could not do much. Afterwards, the entire world was changed.

This is the meaning of this very important festival, and how we may celebrate it today - by going out into the world and putting into practice what we have so arduously learned. And as we do so, we will receive exactly the energies and powers that Conscious Humanity knows we will need. It is not given until it is needed, but then it is poured out generously and freely and is available to all those who are able to receive it.

True Spirituality Takes Focus Away from Self

Last week I looked at the self-compassion and mindfulness practices, and whether they were real, spiritual paths. And it's clear that they are not. They are psychological, not spiritual, and while they may offer their followers some much-needed respite and reassurance, they don't go beyond the individual practitioner.

As counselling techniques they are admirable. They seem to be especially helpful to women, and less so for men, which I think says much about how women are treated - and how we treat ourselves - in western society today.

Women are often very stretched by having to care for their spouse and family, look after the house, work at a profession and maintain difficult standards in every sphere. We try to have it all, and we can't. And then we berate ourselves for our failures!

In this context, times of mindfulness and of self-compassion can be very useful indeed, even more so than the cliche of running oneself a bath, lighting a candle, and so on. What is needed is a change in consciousness, a break from the endless cycle of "shoulds" and "oughts" which plague so many of us.

Men, however, seem to find action more helpful in calming anxiety and stress. This is hardly surprising in our society, where so much emphasis is given to action rather than to creative non-action, but in the East it is traditionally a male guru who teaches meditation and helps his followers to tame their wayward thoughts and feelings

But true spirituality consists in none of these things by themselves.

We practise "sitting" and various forms of meditation, among which I include the Work's  morning exercise, in order to wake up, to become more conscious. But that is not the end.

Gurdjieff repeatedly reminded his followers how difficult it is to be a Christian. He never repudiated his faith, and he spoke only with appreciation and respect of the world's religions. And he emphasized that it is impossible to make progress in the Work just by working on and by oneself.

Essential as is that first step, it is only the beginning of a long journey out of our limited selves, our False Personalities, through the idiosyncfrasies of the Personality and into the Essence, towards Real I as our goal. Our Essence is the part of us which is most spiritual - indeed, it is the only part from which our spirit may grow. And Real I is the locus where our individual Essence meets with God.

To reach spiritual understanding, we need to work with others and to work for the sake of the Work itself. These are the second and third lines of Work, and they are vital to all progress.

We find that when we try to relate to others in the Work we can't simply fall back on our False Personality or our Personality. We need to relate to them with our Essence, because anything else will strike a false note. We will soon be caught out if we try to keep on our everyday mask, our "persona".

In the Work, we gradually learn to relate to people through externally considering them. We put ourselves in their place, moving completely away from our own limited, self-centred viewpoint and entering the experience of the other.

We do this both with fellow students in the Work and with those outside it, people we meet in our everyday lives, our families, colleagues and friends. We practise external considering in all circumstances, towards those we like and even more towards people we can't stand! And this again takes the focus away from our petty concerns and helps us to act with real understanding and compassion.

Eventually, we come to appreciate that the Work is so much greater than psychology. It is a way of reaching enlightenment, the shortest and surest way for those of us raised in the West who don't have access to a "guru" and whose responsibilities don't permit them to leave everything and live out their lives in a monastery.

And it is much more than that. The great creative power we call God has made it possible for us to evolve spiritually, and He has so directed our evolution that as we reach more enlightened states of consciousness so we also help the very universe itself to evolve.

So our ultimate responsibility is towards that great Being, and towards all of Conscious Humanity, all of whom cooperate in the task of ordering and maintaining the universe, and helping everyone who genuinely wishes to reach a higher level.

We are not alone; and we cannot work for ourselves alone.

Unlike the many self-help methods which claim to increase the practitioner's personal power, and which in reality do nothing of the kind but lead them further into delusion and materialism, spiritual paths emphasize the need for humility before God, and compassion to all beings.

When we acknowledge that there is indeed a God who directs our lives when we ask Him, we humble ourselves before that great source. We realize our own nothingness. Far from "bigging ourselves up" or bragging about our achievements, we acknowledge that we can do nothing without God's help, and that everything we try to do on our own inevitably comes to nought.

This is where the psychological and the spiritual paths diverge. To the psychologist who does not believe in God, everything begins and ends with the human being. There is nothing beyond. What a profoundly depressing world view this is!

The spiritual person knows she is under a great obligation to serve the highest; that she is bound to manifest compassion towards everyone she meets, in whatever form she can, even when that compassion may necessitate acting the part of anger, as a wise teacher must sometimes do.

She knows that on the spiritual path there are definite obligations that we all incur, ethical standards that we ignore at the cost of our own enlightenment.

And she longs with all her being to offer devoted service to the One who is above all, who has created her and everything that exists.

The self-help methods can never teach you such an attitude - and without it there is no growth in understanding.

As the Talmud says, "If I for myself only, what am I?"


                                                               *                            *                              *

I'm taking a break from this blog for three weeks, as I prepare for the publication of my book "A Raging Thirst" in paperback, on CreateSpace.

I hope and pray that it will reach anyone who may be helped by it.

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Are Self Compassion and Mindfulness Spiritual Paths?

In my previous post, I wrote about Self Compassion and the Divine Mercy. The two have much in common; just as God shows mercy towards us, so we must be merciful towards ourselves. But is self compassion by itself a spiritual path?

I don't think it is.

To me, self compassion is an essential feature of well being. It's a self-counselling technique, one which may be taught by a therapist or learned from reading and applied to oneself. Without a similar approach to self observation, we can't make any progress in the Work or along any other spiritual path; certainly we can't become true Christians, able to love ourselves and other people, unless we show mercy towards ourselves.

But - like its companion discipline, mindfulness, which may be compared to the very beginning of self-observation - it operates purely on the natural level. There is nothing supernatural about it. And without the supernatural, there is no spirituality.

Neither self compassion nor mindfulness can, by themselves, function as a spiritual path. Why not? Because they begin and end with ourselves, whereas a spiritual path, by definition, leads us towards a Higher Power, towards God. Such a journey takes us out of ourselves, out of that short-circuit which is the natural, psychological level of life, where most people live for most of the time.

More, a spiritual path shows us how to treat other people.

Obviously, we need first of all to treat ourselves with compassion and mercy. That is basic to all spiritual progress, because we cannot love others or love God if we do not love ourselves. By loving ourselves, accepting ourselves with all our faults and defects, we place ourselves in a position whereby we can love others, who also have faults and defects. We accept that we are no better and no worse than others. We don't judge ourselves, and we don't judge others (though we must make value judgments about words and actions, otherwise we are lost in a maze of amoral options and fall into psychological entropy).

But someone who goes no further than self-acceptance is not engaged in a spiritual journey. That journey begins only when we aspire to reach a higher level of Being and Understanding, however we may describe that inner longing. To be spiritual beings - or rather, to understand that this is what we are, no matter how involved in matter we have become - we must have within us some idea of a Higher Power, of God.

All mainstream religions, all those which Gurdjieff considered to be real religions, have this awareness; that of ourselves we are nothing, can do nothing without help from above. And they all mandate that we must treat others as we treat ourselves, with compassion and mercy, with acceptance and understanding, knowing that we are all children of that same God and that He cares for all with equal love.

Equipped only with the psychological tools of mindfulness and self compassion, people may lead satisfied lives on the natural level, may reach a state of well being and personal comfort which nevertheless falls short of their real potential as spiritual beings.

And many, perhaps most, people are quite happy with this state. They may eventually, by leading the life of a Good Householder, reach an understanding that this life does not truly satisfy their deepest longings - but, again, they may never do so. We can't judge someone's ultimate Fate, whether they will reach a spiritual understanding in this life, or whether they may undergo further incarnations as they make progress towards such a goal.

My own teacher explained that Essence, if it does not develop, will simply be returned to the "universal melting pot" at the end of life. If people have made no efforts towards creating a soul, a higher being body, then they will have nothing permanent which can continue its journey after this life is finished.

We can't decide for ourselves whether this is the case for anyone else. We don't know what inner yearnings, what sufferings, someone with apparently no religious or spiritual orientation may be undergoing, nor where this may lead. We are not God.

And we can't see what the Fate of another may be, no matter how close they are to us; that depends on God, on the Higher Power in which they may say they don't believe, but which will still be present right up until their final moments, when they have the chance to decide whether to journey on, towards the Light, with all the purgatorial pain that might imply; or whether to reject that possibility, and hence to cease to exist at all.

So mindfulness, excellent as it is as a beginning practice and as a self calming technique, is not by itself a spiritual practice. Neither is self compassion.  Either or both can make people happier in this life, but they do nothing towards guiding the individual into a spiritual mode of existence.

We are now reaching the time in the cycle of the seasons when the Earth is leaving the influences that reached their peak at Christmas, those radiations which come from the farthest reaches of our galaxy and even beyond, which contain the possibility of new creation.

We have seen how, correctly and consciously taken up, these very special energies allow us to grow in Being, to experience a new birth in our Essence.

Now, however, that season is drawing to a close and we are beginning to experience the stronger influences of the Sun and planets closer to us.

In our spiritual lives, we are now encouraged to put into practice all that we have learned during the time of year that preceded it, to allow the new understanding to be expressed in the way we approach the outer world.

Mrs Pogson taught that the Earth experiences a whole cycle of breath during one year. From the time of Christmas until Midsummer, St.John's Tide, the Earth breathes out the energies it has received, while from Midsummer to Christmas the Earth is breathing in again. Uniting this cycle with the changes in the position of the Earth and Sun in our galaxy helps us understand the type of energy appropriate for each season of the year, and guides us as to the right way to express our spirituality.

Those who practice mindfulness and self compassion with a spiritual aim will find that they may go out into the welcome summer season with new confidence in their ability to put all they have learned to use.

The Divine Mercy and Self-Compassion

This Sunday, Catholics celebrate the Feast of the Divine Mercy. If you're a Catholic, you already know all about this feast. If not, a brief summary is in order: the Divine Mercy is a traditional Christian feast which had fallen into disuse, but during the earlier part of the 20th Century a Polish nun, Sister Faustina, was asked by Jesus to revive it, and to have a special picture painted which would illustrate the way that Jesus's mercy and compassion radiate to the whole world. The Feast of the Divine Mercy always takes place on the first Sunday after Easter Sunday. It therefore falls on the Octave of Easter, and emphasizes the central meaning of the whole festival of Easter - the loving kindness of God towards us, the God who would rather go through the agony of death than lose a single soul to sin. That face of God is that of the father of the prodigal son; when we turn to him he runs towards us and celebrates our return. You may have seen the Divine Mercy image in a Catholic church or bookshop. It shows Jesus standing with His right arm raised in blessing, with two rays - one red and one white - radiating from His Sacred Heart, sending compassion to all. Jesus told Sister Faustina, now canonized as St. Faustina, that He longed for the whole world to trust in His Divine Mercy. He wished everyone not only to trust in His Mercy, but also to show mercy towards others in thought, word and deed. The reason for wishing this Feast to be re-established today, He told St. Faustina, was that we are now much closer to His Second Coming, and when He arrives He will administer the final judgement. Anyone may obtain mercy now, but if they fail to trust in Him they will face His judgement when He comes again. Clearly, we all wish to obtain Mercy, and now is the era in which Jesus wishes Mercy to spread throughout the world, Mercy towards others but also towards ourselves; in this aspect, the Divine Mercy has much in common with the self compassion movement. Self compassion is a school of thought which emphasizes being compassionate and merciful towards ourselves. It's not an excuse for selfish behaviour, but is an antidote to all the harsh, critical, harmful I's in us that are ready to step in and condemn us every time we make a mistake. Self compassion is being recognized as a helpful approach in counselling, and while in itself it is not a spiritual discipline, it's certainly a healthy way of seeing oneself as one truly is. As such, it can help us in our work efforts. From working on ourselves we've seen how critical and judgmental we often are towards ourselves, how we often stop ourselves from making accurate observations because we're afraid to look. That fear comes from the feeling that we are unworthy and constantly fail, which is quite true; but we also know that the critical, judging I's which bedevil our attempts to know ourselves are completely useless, and so far from helping us to progress, they actually hinder us and involve us in a vicious circle. We see something, some I, which another I rushes in and judges. The result is a war of separate, small I's, getting nowhere and sabotaging our personal work. We are all taught that these attitudes are useless, and that we need to dis-identify from these critical, condemnatory I's so that we may see ourselves as we really are. But - for some types more than others - these critical I's are very strong. They clamp down on our attempts at self-observation and cause mayhem. For intellectual centre types, especially, they can pose a very serious threat to personal work. And people who judge themselves harshly also judge others, and can be difficult companions, so that their relationships suffer and family life is problematic. The antidote is self compassion, although it is not necessarily expressed in those terms. A Work teacher, a Work group, can be models of self compassion and compassion towards one another. We observe ourselves as accurately as we can, without self-justifying, and report on our observations to the group. We see that we are all in the same state, all too often falling far short of the aims we set ourselves, and that this is simply how we are. Our teachers don't condemn us for it, and neither do our fellow students. This process is similar to the Little Way of St Therese and fosters true humility and self acceptance. And as for identifying with the critical I's, this is simply futile. It perpetuates the inner conflicts which stop us from seeing ourselves and from giving ourselves the First Conscious Shock. In the Work, therefore, we have to learn to let go of these I's and their negative, harmful companions, the harsh thoughts, the condemnations, even - at time - the despair. I think we Catholics may have an easier time in some respects. If we regularly go to Confession, we acknowledge our faults and receive assurance from the priest, who represents Christ to us, that we are forgiven, absolved, given a fresh start. If we are particularly prone to judgementalism, either towards ourselves or towards others, our confessor may remind us of the words of Christ to the woman taken in adultery. She was about to be stoned to death, surrounded by a crowd who all condemned her for her wickedness. Jesus stops them from killing her by saying, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone". Of course, nobody is without sin, and so the crowd disperses and spares the woman's life. Jesus asks her, "Does anyone now condemn you?" "No," she replies. "Neither do I condemn you," Jesus tells her. "Go and sin no more." We may take this as a literal story or as an allegory. The crowds of condemning I's are those which rail against us, in our own False Personality, condemning us to death for our perceived sins. None of them have the right to kill; all are guilty of some sort of sin, because they are in error and cannot see the truth, the whole picture. In such a state, we may fear that Jesus - our Real I - will also condemn us. But this doesn't happen. Instead, He tells her to go - and also, which is very important, to sin no more. The whole story shows us how to have compassion on ourselves, and compassion towards others. It's important that we admit our shortcomings, our sins, the many ways in which we fall short; and if we honestly do so, we have the chance to try again, to continue our life, our personal work, free of condemnation and with the aim of "sinning no more". To be told that one is granted absolution in the Confessional is a very important part of life as a Catholic. We hear those words, we understand them as coming from Christ, from our Real I if we are in the Work, and we experience release and mercy. We go on our way lighter in heart and with a new energy to use in our efforts. We are loved in our littleness, in our imperfection, as long as we are humble enough to admit our faults and to try again. Compassion towards ourselves includes the acknowledgment that we have fallen short of our aims, and the wish to do better; it sees that we do indeed fall short, but, like St. Therese, uses that understanding for self-acceptance. At the same time, we see that we harm ourselves when we miss the mark, or sin. So real self compassion includes the determination to avoid sin and to live according to our Real Conscience. If we do this, then no matter how many times we may fail, we are not condemned. We are picked up, consoled, loved and set on our feet once more with a new chance. That is real self compassion. Note: The description I have given of the Divine Mercy Feast is very abbreviated. It is a truly inspiring devotion, and if you want to know more you could visit the Divine Mercy Message website, and also - if you are really interested, as I am - read the Diary of Saint Faustina. It's very long, but also very rewarding.

Holy Week in the Work

Since the autumn, we've been looking at the way the Christian year has been arranged. We've seen that for two thousand years the church's liturgical cycle has taken advantage of cosmic variations in the positions of the planets and stars, which can help us in our inner work. Other festivals before Christianity had also made use of these times, because various Messengers had known of the changes in the position of the Earth, the planets and our Sun which could be used to encourage an increase in consciousness. The Egyptian and Greek religions, in particular, which preceded our Christian era, gave their followers feasts and fasts which corresponded to the energies available for initiates. But here I'm looking at Christianity, because that is the religion which today, I believe, embodies the most conscious planning by learned men and women so that even now we may study the Christian year and learn which type of inner work best corresponds to each festival. Now we've arrived at Holy Week, the most important time of the entire Christian year and the period when much understanding and an increase in Being may be obtained if we make the right efforts. On the largest possible scale of understanding, Dr. Nicoll told his students that "The sacrifice of Christ was to decrease entropy for humanity". And he explained that every time we make some small sacrifice, every time we accept a small death on our own level, which is what we've been attempting to do throughout Lent, we increase the possibility of becoming more and more alive in the most real part of ourselves. We increase our inner order, and work against entropy. Mrs. Pogson pointed out that while Adam in the Garden of Eden acted from self-will and disobeyed God, thereby losing his right to live in Paradise, Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane lay down his self-will and obeyed the Will of His Father. His choice demanded conscious suffering, but from that suffering came the great and holy triumph of Easter Sunday. He came to show us the way which we may all follow, which leads to eternal life. On a physical level, too, everything changed after the Crucifixion. The drops of blood and water which flowed from the wounds of Jesus fell upon the Earth and purified it, reaching backwards and forwards in time simultaneously so that all of mankind now had the chance to become conscious. The festival of Easter is almost always celebrated at the same time as the Passover of the Jews. The very few exceptions occur when the Jewish year, which is lunar, has to insert an extra month so that the solar and lunar calendars agree. Both festivals are, at root, festivals of freedom. As the Israelites were led out of Egypt and out of bondage to their material desires and mental addictions, so at Easter all mankind is shown how to be free from the slavery of the multitude of I's within us and to reach that point in ourselves which alone is real. How does the Earth's position in space relate to the timing of Easter? If you remember our previous discussions of cosmic time, you'll recall that a period of concentrated work began for us in early autumn, when we focused more on internal tasks after the summer holidays. In September, the Earth starts to move closer to the energies which come from the highest level of the cosmos, from far away, which are better able to reach us at this time. The Earth revolves around the Sun, of course, but we recollect that the Sun also revolves around its own "Sun", the star Sirius. And all Suns, all stars, revolve around the central Sun of the galaxy. There is much to ponder here. The special position of our planetary journey which began in the autumn takes us within the Sun's own orbit of Sirius, and in direct alignment with the forces of the Ray of Creation. The moon also plays a part in reflecting light to us here on Earth, and increasing the powers of the different energies that reach us. By the time the Earth has come to the spring equinox, it is beginning to move away from the alignment with Sirius and the further reaches of the universe; it then begins a new phase of the annual journey which focuses more on working in the world, in Life. Before the Earth leaves the elliptical orbit of the Sun around Sirius, a final Full Moon at this stage of the pilgrimage reflects back increased energies to us on Earth, and this Full Moon is what is important at the festivals of Passover and Easter. From time to time suggestions have been made that we should fix a date for Easter, to be the same every year just as Christmas always falls right after the Winter Solstice. As we can see, this would be a huge mistake as far as our inner work is concerned. We would no longer receive the extra boost which now benefits our Work life, and this would make our transformation even more difficult than it currently is. We need all the help we can get from the cosmos, and Easter shows us that harmony between inner and outer worlds is actually made more possible when we align ourselves with those special energies. For us in the Work, Holy Week is the most concentrated phase of this whole annual cycle. What is conceived now, at Easter, may be born at Christmas in Essence. What we now sacrifice will enable new life to rise from our most real part. The Gospel narratives of Easter are extremely interesting, and one of the most fruitful tasks for this time is to see all the different I's at work around the events of Holy Week. The Pharisees, Pilate, the crowds which first acclaim Jesus and then reject Him, the Roman soldiers, the disciples who simply can't stay awake - all these I's are within us. Most interesting of all is Judas, who plays the part of the betrayer in this cosmic drama. Gurdjieff says that Judas is actually a great saint because he understands the need for his action - to bring about the events that lead to the death of Jesus - and also that he would be hated and reviled for what he had done, until the very end of time. Such a person needs courage and equanimity, together with real devotion to the Master, and his part could only be played by a conscious man far above the level of Being of the crowds. We might ponder on the meaning of this role, and whether we ourselves would have been prepared to play it. Which of our I's take the uppermost role in the drama of Holy Week? Do we have the courage of Judas and Jesus Himself, as we draw closer to the crucifixion? Do we watch and pray, as Christ asks us to do, or do we fall asleep along with the other disciples? Do we give up any attempt to understand and to work on ourselves, like Pontius Pilate? Or do we accept the Will of the Father, and steadily set our face towards Jerusalem, unwavering in our knowledge of what is to come, and our acceptance of the conscious suffering that will be our task?

Dark NIght - or Depression?

As a counsellor, I've often worked with clients suffering from depression. A combination of therapies usually works best, by which I mean anti-depressant medication together with psychotherapy. The client's mood first has to be stabilized with medication before the "talking cure" can be effective, and we're fortunate today in having many different anti-depressants for doctors to prescribe. Often it's a matter of trial and error, but eventually the medication begins to kick in and the client is able to look at the reasons behind the depression and work on improving his mood - and, if necessary, making beneficial changes in his life. We talk about endogenous depression (the kind that originates in a brain disorder, so that insufficient endorphins are manufactured, or they are dissipated too fast to be of help). Anti-depressants relieve this type of depression, but psychotherapy is also very helpful in encouraging the client to look at factors in his life which may be contributing to the mood disorder. The second type of depression is called reactive, because it's brought on by disturbing and difficult life events. The client is reacting to something that has happened, possibly after a long period of stress. Here, too, anti-depressants can be useful, because whatever the cause of the depression the client must be in a stable and rational state of mind to benefit from counselling or psychoanalysis. Of course, in real life it's very difficult to distinguish between the two, because usually both types are present, with one or the other predominant. Long-term stress affects the brain's chemistry; endogenous depression leads to more stress, as the client withdraws more and more from life and fails to tackle his problems. You can't really separate the two forms in reality, so anyone with severe depression also needs to see a doctor for an assessment as to suitability for anti-depressant medication. But recently my attention has been drawn to a third type of psychological disturbance, one that often mimics depression but which is not identical to it. I'm talking about the so-called "dark night of the soul", described by St John of the Cross and other mystical writers, in which Christians who are following the Way of Illumination can suddenly be plunged into seeming darkness. I'm referring to Christians, but followers of other religions may also face similar experiences; I'm not familiar with the forms they would take, however, and am not qualified to write about them. Here, I'm talking about a specifically Christian experience which many devout followers of Jesus face in their walk towards closer union with God. The pilgrim is actually moving closer to God in the so-called dark night of the soul, but it seems quite otherwise. He becomes intensely aware of his own sinful nature and the great difference between his own being and that of God. The individual feels that God is further away from him than ever, and with this perception (which is erroneous) comes a sense of great sadness. Previously, he had enjoyed his prayer times and participating in the Eucharist; now, he is deprived of these consolations and feels abandoned. In this sense of sadness the dark night imitates depression. Inexperienced counsellors, especially if they are not from a background of faith, may mistake one for the other. And the situation is further confused by the fact that both may coexist. A depressed client may be undergoing the dark night as well as depression - and the person who knows, from his or her spiritual director, that he is in the dark night may also be depressed. The most helpful way to distinguish between them, and to give the client the maximum psychological and spiritual help, is for a counsellor and parish priest to work closely together when faced with someone in this situation. I have been doing this recently with a middle-aged woman whom I'll call Julie. Obviously, this is not her real name, and I've altered other personal details to preserve her anonymity. She gave permission for me to tell her story, because she thought it might be useful to others, and I agree. Julie, at 55, was experiencing a state of depression brought on by a quarrel with one of her adult children. Her son, whose marriage was breaking up, accused Julie of bringing him up unwisely so that he could not relate well to women; he implied that his own problems were all Julie's fault. As a single mother, deserted by her partner after the birth of their son, Julie had always worried that she was an inadequate mother, and her son's accusations triggered an acute sense of guilt, of total uselessness and failure as a parent and as a human being. No wonder she was depressed. Her parish priest, however, thought that something else might be going on, and with Julie's permission we talked about her situation and what might be happening to her. He knew Julie to be a devout Christian, and felt that she was in a process of deeper enlightenment that could emerge after she had lived through the dark night. Julie's depressed mood was stabilized by anti-depressant medication, but she still felt deeply unworthy. As a practicing Christian who regularly attended Mass and prayed and meditated every day, Julie began to feel increasingly cut off from God. Her sense of God's absence was different from depression. She did not feel the self-loathing that had assaulted her during her depression, but she did feel her own sinfulness, and wondered what had gone wrong in her relationship with God. Nothing was wrong, her parish priest told her: her situation was typical of what is experienced by every pilgrim and would-be saint, and would come to an end when it had run its course. It was, he said, a form of purification that is necessary to enjoy greater union with God, and this is what would happen as long as Julie stayed faithful to her prayer life. The dark night of the soul was, said the priest, actually a case of being blinded by the light! The tremendous love and light of God so overwhelm the seeker's soul that it feels like darkness at first, but the pilgrim who persists will find at last that he is enjoying a closeness to God that he has never before been able to attain. One state - depression or dark night - does not exclude the other. If anyone feels that he might be going through either of these processes, it's really important to discuss it with a priest as well as a doctor. In Julie's case she found that she did indeed feel closer to God in the end, but if she had not sought treatment for depression she might never have realized the underlying, beneficial process taking place in her soul. Gurdjieff describes the dark night experience in "All and Everything". The souls approaching most closely to God feel deeply their own sinfulness, and their separation from their Creator. Even their very existence as individuals can come to seem painful. They want to dissolve into unity with God, but cannot do so by their own efforts. This story is very illuminating and deserves serious study by all Work students, but especially by anyone who thinks they may be experiencing a dark night. May all who undergo this darkness come through it stronger, wiser and closer to their goal.

Being Tested in the Work

Anyone on a real spiritual path has to face tests. The Work is no exception. If you are truly working on yourself, you will be tested again and again until the Work becomes stronger in you than any other influence.

The nature of these tests changes throughout your life.

The earliest test may come as a difficulty in locating a teacher. You may find a meeting time or place that is really difficult for you to get to, or which demands a sacrifice of something you enjoy. For me, the first meeting I went to was 50 miles away from where I lived, and as a penniless student I had great difficulty in coming up with the train fare. There were many evenings when I was tempted not to go; but I wanted the Work so much that I found ways to get there in spite of the many problems.

Having overcome the first difficulty, you now find you're being asked to carry out tasks that you really, really don't like! Why should you have to miss a night's sleep, for example? Or dress up as something weird and unpleasant? Or trek miles and miles to a distant Work location for a special weekend? How can you be asked to do these things? Don't they know how hard you're trying and how difficult they're making things for you?

Of course "they" do!

The purpose of all these difficulties is to show you your different I's. You don't know what you're really like until you are tested, and I's which have become habitual and which you don't even know you have start making their presence felt.

The Work proceeds from the outer to the inner, from the surface to the depths. What are you willing to sacrifice for the sake of the Work? And what do you believe you can never, ever give up?

Whatever your problems, you are facing the same process that we all go through. We have to get to know ourselves thoroughly, and the only way we can do this is by observation. And, since we habitually take the easy path through any situation, it's only through having to deny our habitual I's their sleep that we can see ourselves as we really are.

Without excuses. Without justifying. And without lying.

Our unpleasant habits in all centres come out to parade themselves. We begin to see that we are not exactly the nice, kind, pleasant person we thought we were. Far from it.

In life, when faced with a difficulty, we choose the path of least resistance. We try to get our own way, and when that doesn't work we manipulate or force others into doing what we want. In the Work we can't get away with this sort of behaviour. Our fellow students are sure to object, and our teacher won't allow us to become lazy or to make excuses for our unpleasant manifestations.

Tests cause us to look ever deeper within, and we start to have a pretty good idea of what we're really like.

Just as important as this knowledge is what we do with it. We don't justify our shortcomings, but own up to them. We see ourselves as we really are, and we don't flinch from observing our buffers, our contradictions, our conceit, our arrogance. If we refuse to see, we will be tested again and again on the very same point until we can no longer deny our reality.

Neither do we judge or criticize ourselves, however. Such an attitude shuts down all observation and puts us to sleep. We simply see ourselves, acknowledge our various I's, and choose to disidentify with them so that they gradually lose their power over us. With this test comes much suffering, but it is the type of suffering which cleanses and enlightens us. It is the only way we learn.

The Work shows us that nothing in our False Personality is worth anything at all. It has to go. All those I's which stifle our Essence and commit psychological violence against ourselves and others have to be let go and allowed to die away. It will take a long time, perhaps many years, for this to happen.

An important part of the process of becoming aware is to get to know our Chief Feature. Dr. Nicoll describes it as the axis round which our False Personality revolves, and when we have seen it our Work becomes more focused.

Even so, it is very easy for the Chief Feature to take on new forms, and this is the origin of the many stories all over the world about shape-shifters. These fairy tales reflect the truth that our I's are experts at disguising themselves, and only continuous self-observation without judging or excusing will subdue their influence.

Self-observation goes on for the rest of our life. And if we become complacent, thinking we now know everything about ourselves and that our False Personality has no more power over us, we are sure to be tested, perhaps in a very big way. The saying that "Pride goes before a fall", which is actually a quotation from the Bible, is quite true. You will observe it in yourself many times.

If you are ever authorized to teach the Work, you will be sure to face a major test. You will be challenged in every way, so that your False Personality is revealed in all its manifestations; this is an inescapable fact for everyone who reaches a certain stage in the Work.

Not everyone can or should be authorized to teach, but if you reach the stage of knowledge which shows your own teacher that you might be able to pass on some of the Work to new students, your Being will be tested so that you see what you have to work on in yourself.  Without this, you would be a terrible teacher! You would teach from False Personality, and this is a great pitfall.

If your teacher sees that this is happening, you will be immediately told to stop teaching; your authorization will be revoked, and you will have to take a long, hard look at the I's which have allowed such a difficult situation to develop. Some people cannot face this task, and leave the Work at this point. Their False Personalities, or even their Personalities, take them away from the Work altogether. This stage is an initiation, and only students who truly value the Work, who can see the good of the Work regardless of their own progress, or lack of it, will be able to carry on.

At this point, only humility will keep you in the Work - the sort of humility which enables you to be taught, and thus to teach others.

False Personality, as we know, has no place in the Work, but what of the Personality? In fact, our Personality probably contains a number of I's which are useful in the Work. In my case I had learned to teach and to counsel in life, and when used in a Work group these I's were often helpful. But there is still much in the Personality that will have to be discarded because it doesn't support the Work.

It is your Higher Centers which will guide you through all the tests you face in the Work. And this will only be the case when you have purified your emotional and intellectual centres sufficiently to allow the Higher Centers to be heard.

When you reach this stage, your self-knowledge will be very thorough indeed. You will still be tested, because this process continues for our lifetime as long as we are treading the path of the Work, but the tests will be very different.

There will be subtle inner temptations and outer problems which make working on the third line of the Work extremely difficult at times. But by now you will know yourself well enough to be able to meet these tests as they arise.

You will have been turned and twisted and bent out of shape so many times that you will have developed the ability to return to the sure path of the Work.  And this is the purpose of all the tests you have undergone.

Strengthening Essence

In most people, Essence is born childlike and weak.

The part of us that we call Essence is born with us. It includes everything that we are physically - our colouring, our inherited weaknesses and strengths, all our genetic heritage - and all our spiritual and psychological potential.

Just because we have that potential at birth, however, does not mean that we will develop and realize it.

Many people die without having developed their Essence at all. In such a case, Dr Nicoll taught, the very fine substance of which Essence is composed returns to the common melting pot, from which new Essences are taken when a person is to be born.

If we do not develop Essence, we have no individuality. If there is no individuality, how can there be any survival after death?

This is not what the church teaches, of course. It is a very ancient tradition, older than the church, and known to esoteric groups before Christianity existed.

If someone is born into a family which follows a traditional religion, that person will begin to develop Essence. To be a spiritual person, to follow any of the real religious paths, one has to resist temptation, to work against what is mechanical and strengthen the spiritual will.

For this reason, all the religions which Gurdjieff recognized do teach belief in a soul, or developed Essence. The soul is nourished when a child is raised by people who genuinely try to follow a religious path, and who guide the child wisely so that he or she will detach from negative emotions, at least to some extent.

If efforts are made during childhood and adolescence, then even if the maturing adult decides to discard their religion, the soul will have begun to grow, thanks to the nourishment it received from the parents and other adults in childhood.

And when the soul has once begun to grow, it will call out to the inner man or woman and crave more nourishment, more strength, as it recognizes its own desire for development.

Society is so disordered today, however, that few people receive wise guidance as children, and even fewer recognize their inner longings once childhood is past. Instead, we are encouraged to forget about spiritual progress and focus on material goals - money, status, power, sexual satisfaction, and so on. This is what drives the money-making machinery of advertising and big business. This is the real danger of our day.

We live in a haze of lies, a web of falsehood which surrounds us during our waking moments and invades our dreams.  We are told the way to happiness lies in getting more and more stuff, having bigger and better orgasms, being feted as a "celebrity" in the media, or simply by satisfying all our physical needs as though we were merely animals.

If we were not kept hypnotized in this way, nobody would believe the obvious lies inherent in our materialistic society. We would refuse to buy those things we really don't want or need. We would see other people as they really are, instead of through a distorting lens of False Personality. We would keep in mind the fact of our own death, and the need to make constant, unflagging efforts during our brief lifetime.

In short, we would work on ourselves.

Even in those times when there is no Fourth Way School, echoes of former schools persist. There is always a mystical side to outer religions, and a path that may be found by a sincere seeker. And it is only when treading that path that we experience the real satisfaction that a pilgrim knows even when he or she is suffering, the knowledge that we are moving ever closer to our Real I, whatever name it may be given. And this experience is the same for all spiritual seekers, everywhere. The inner teachings of all religions all embrace the same reality.

Today, we have the Fourth Way, and the teachers and groups that exist in the authorized lineages of the Work.

We know that by working on ourselves we are strengthening Essence and weakening Personality, and this is the task that is most strongly encouraged during Lent.

Of False Personality there is no need to speak, for we all realize that it is the fake, the unreal, the delusional system of I's that leads us away from the Work unless we stay awake. We know how to recognize these I's, and we understand that we must detach from them whenever they make themselves known.

The Personality does have its uses in the Work, however.  We need to use Personality I's in order to carry out our jobs, to provide for ourselves and our families, and to organize our lives so that inner work takes priority once our responsibilities to others have been discharged.

We know that it is the task of Personality to serve Essence. Personality must create the conditions our Essence needs in order to grow. Essence must not remain weak and childlike, for if it fails to develop there can be no inner peace, no real progress. Progress takes place as the Work penetrates deeper within us, from the outermost I's in moving parts of centres to the innermost places where the Work is difficult and painstaking - but where alone real awakening can occur.

In the Christian religion we are told that Jesus withdrew to the wilderness to prepare for his earthly mission. We can't do that - most of us have family responsibilities and worldly duties that we have to carry out.

But we can all set aside periods at the beginning of each day, during the day, and again in the evening, when we carry out a psychological reversal and focus on our inner tasks. This is why we have a Morning Preparation every day, and why we choose to make appointments with ourselves in the day; we need to know where we are in our inner world, and what we need to do next for our spiritual progress.

During Lent we are encouraged by the Work and by the Christian tradition to take on extra tasks. Prayer and fasting are the names given by the church to these acts. In the Work, making Aim, putting in effort, and asking for help from a higher level constitute prayer for us. Fasting means to abstain from identifying with the I's in Personality and False Personality which spoil our inner work.

Lent is the time when, following the tradition as recommended in the Work, we may make some real progress in strengthening our Essence. And when one person ascends in the scale of Being, it affects everyone else.

Lent - What Are You Giving Up This Year?

As we've seen in previous posts, the conscious men and women who composed the cycle of the Christian Year did so out of their profound understanding of the workings of the cosmos.

Not only did they completely understand the meaning of the Christian religion and its mystical completion, they also knew of the various energies available to us on the Earth at different times of the year.

Hence, each seasonal festival, each liturgical season, encourages us to focus on a particular practice that will benefit us for the growth of our higher being bodies.

At each change of season, the Earth receives the energies appropriate to the practices appropriate to it.

Now we're entering Lent, and the energies of the cosmos which reach us now are subtly different from the preceding seasons, those of Christmas, the Epiphany and Candlemass.

We all now see and experience the great increase in light that reaches us from our Sun during late February and the beginning of March, compared to the darkness of the time before and after Christmas. We notice the changing weather patterns, and the growth of new plants which appear at the very beginning of Spring. Birds are nesting, and we sense an increased urgency to the cycles of nature now, as the currents of new life begin to pour into our Earth's biosphere.

Lent is, in fact, the ancient word for Spring, and its arrival means that we are being asked to make some sacrifice that will help to purify us for the great Easter festival which comes at the end of this 40-day period.

Traditionally, as in Advent, Orthodox Christians and, formerly, all Catholics fast from flesh foods during Lent. The exceptions are fish and dairy foods, and such a diet may in fact be the very best for our health if we're not among those whose genetic heritage demands more protein than the Lenten fare supplies. I happen to be among them, and am what is termed an "obligate carnivore", so a compete abstinence from meat and poultry is detrimental to my health.

One of the habits I gave up after I discovered this fact was that of feeling guilty because I couldn't follow a vegan or vegetarian diet! Both made me very weak and ill, and hence less fit for working on myself - but the lingering guilt was a habit of my thinking and emotional centres that I had to work on in past years.

Many of us carry around completely useless guilt and shame from past faulty thinking, whether derived from introjected parental attitudes or acquired later on from other sources, such as a perfectionist, punishing religion.

In the past, the Jansenist stream of Christianity imposed a regime of puritanism on the French Catholic community, and it took the insights of saints such as Therese of Lisieux to point out the fallacy of their philosophy.

In a very similar fashion, the original Puritan sects, and the many breakaway groups which copied them, took the attitude that all of us are miserable sinners, and deserve constant punishment for our attachments to earthly pleasures, even those of the most innocent kind. Music itself was banned from some churches, not to mention dancing.

Today there are quite a few fundamentalist churches which preach such an un-Godly approach to life in the name of spirituality. Many critical, judgmental religious writers and preachers think of God as an ill-willed magistrate in the sky, out to get you for the most minor infringement of his rules, or just bent on making sure that nobody enjoys themselves, ever!

All this is very far from Orthodox or Catholic beliefs,the only streams of Christianity which Gurdjieff sanctioned as genuine, and they are certainly not those of the Work.

Sacrificing perfectionist and judgmental habits of thought can be a very good way for many of us to work on ourselves during Lent.

The practice of self-compassion, though not in itself a spiritual discipline, can actually help us to become free of these severe attitudes, and thus help us grow in our spirituality - and that's the whole point of Lent, after all. If you're not familiar with the term, there are many websites which explain it and give help for those want to practise it, whether you're a Christian, a Buddhist or from any other religious background or none.

Paradoxically, giving up our harmful, punishing thoughts, and the behaviours that can follow, may be a very good way to "give up" something for Lent! In other words, we may "give up" giving up!

At the same time, we also want to experience the life-giving, enhancing energies of Spring which we've noted above. But there has to be a balance here, and this is the real purpose of Lent - to help us to keep a balance between two types of excess, that of self-indulgence, such as with overeating or sex addiction, and the practice of puritanical thinking.

Obviously, if someone has a serious addiction problem the practice of Lenten sacrifice won't be enough to help them give up the harmful substance or practice. Again, there's plenty of help out there, but I write this blog to help those already in recovery and especially anyone interested in the Work and in Christianity.

Living in balance, remaining conscious of the pulls exerted from both directions and yet keeping ourselves centered equally between these poles, can be the most fruitful Lenten discipline of all.

Of course, there are many harmful habits to be given up! If perfectionism and judgmentalism are not among your most pressing concerns, there's sure to be something which you need to sacrifice. Worrying, perhaps? Black and white thinking? Making accounts? Choose your habit, and decide to observe it and disidentify from it during the coming 40 days. At the end, you will be freer and happier, and all the more ready to celebrate Easter.

Whatever you choose to give up for Lent, try to select something that is mechanical and which you know is harmful to yourself and to others.

Then your preparation will bear great fruit at Easter. You will purified and freed from something which has been holding you back - maybe for many years - and stopping you from reaching your spiritual goals.

When A Student Leaves the Work .....

People come and go in the Work, for different reasons. Some attend for a few weeks or months, but realize it's not for them, and leave. All groups experience this sort of fluctuation. It's actually quite good for a group to be in the company of such tramps or lunatics, as it can spur the members on to renew their own efforts.

Occasionally, people attend meetings for several years, but without really conjoining with the Work. They may undertake the exercises - or at least, those of which they personally approve, for they are sure they know best! - but their observations are superficial and they don't take the Work deeper into their centres.

They're afraid of the changes they will be called on to make if they let the Work become real to them, and so they leave.

More serious is the situation of people who leave the Work after studying and practicing it, as well as they can, for ten years or more. Theirs is a difficult state, and it's always, without exception, the result of identifying with the False Personality.

As the Work penetrates into inner parts of centres, False Personality puts up a tremendous fight. Those who are honest with themselves see exactly what is happening, and resist the temptation to identify with the I's which are opposed to the Work. They draw on their Work I's, sometimes called Deputy Steward or Steward, to strengthen their resolve and resist the urge to give up.

The I's in False Personality, and most especially those connected with Chief Feature, always resist the Work with the arsenal of weapons they have at their disposal. They insult the Work and their teacher, pour scorn on the ideas, raise doubts and difficulties in the mind of the student.

They have to, because it's a fight to the death!

There comes a time for every student when the temptation to abandon all they've accomplished in the Work and to side with their False Personality, their Imaginary I, becomes particularly acute. All of us who are long-time students and/or authorized teachers have fought this battle.

Why is it so difficult?

Because the student begins to see - to really understand - that to continue in the Work will totally change their priorities. And they don't want to give up their most cherished I's. They can't imagine life without, for example, their self-importance, their conceit; they can't bring themselves to give up gossiping, or worrying, or compulsively helping, or their favourite form of negative emotion, whatever their individual addiction happens to be.

Vanity and Pride maintain the False Personality and preserve its mask. They form a tight crust around the Essence of the student, and real courage is needed to break through it.

If the student will persevere, and ask for help, they will be given it. Their teacher will set them particular exercises to overcome their individual problems, and Conscious Humanity will send them extra support in the form of very fine energies that will enable their Work I's to grow stronger and to resist the temptations that are encompassing them.

But the basic battle is always the same: to remain clear-sighted, honest, and unflinching in the face of the knowledge they now have of themselves. They must carry on their task of observing their False Personality I's, and disidentifying with them. They must continue to purify their Emotional Centre so that their Higher Centres can speak to them and show them the way.

And absolute honesty - with themselves and with their teacher - is fundamental to success. Without it, they will fail, and will leave.

It's always sad when someone loses the fight after many years in the Work.

All a teacher can do is to provide the right conditions for students to be able to work on themselves. Nobody else can do the Work for them. And if what they learn about themselves is too terrible to acknowledge, because they have not asked for help and have not called on the resources available to them, then they may decide it's easier to maintain their illusions about themselves than to face reality, and they leave the Work.

When this happens, the other students in the group, and the Work teacher, have to leave the student to face the consequences of their choice.

Those consequences will include the feeling of being abandoned, the knowledge that is always there at the back of the mind that they have thrown away something infinitely precious. They will discover that their habitual sleep is now less easy, because they have seen a part of their reality; and their conscience, however deeply it may have been buried, pushes them to change.  But now, outside the Work, the chances are slim that they will be able to achieve any real change, and their suffering increases.

The best hope for such a student is to follow the path of the Good Householder, preferably associated with one of the traditional religions so that they have clear ethical and moral guidelines, and the company of other pilgrims on the way.

Even here, if they persevere, they will be brought back once more to  the point that led them to leave the Work - seeing their own False Personality, their own helplessness, their nothingness. And without the Work to help them through this stage, they may once more abandon the spiritual way, and fall back asleep.

We don't talk about the Work with former students. That's a very important school rule, and the reason is obvious - those who leave, have to try to justify their choice to themselves. They know, deep down, that they made a poor choice, so they have to keep persuading themselves that, after all, they were right - their own False Personality knew best!

And in order to persuade themselves of what they basically know to be a lie, they try to convince others of the same. They lie constantly, to themselves and to others, to keep up the pretence that all is well.

We are told never to talk badly about the Work, and to keep company with someone who's abandoned the Work would lead to bad talking. We avoid it, and them.

We don't completely shun them, as various cults are said to do. If our paths cross, we greet them in a friendly but impersonal way, but we avoid conversation with them as much as possible.  We can't take the risk of their wrong attitude to the Work beginning to affect us, so we stay away from them as far as we can.

The teacher cannot talk about the Work with them any more, since they have made their choice. There is no violence in the Work, and everyone is free to choose to leave, if they wish. But they must accept the loss of their teacher and the friendship of the group members.

What their ultimate fate will be, we don't know. They must have had Magnetic Centre to have persevered with the Work as long as they did, but now they have left, they have no way to satisfy the hunger for truth that will have grown in them over the years.

We're told that we have three lifetimes in which to meet the Work. What we do not know is which lifetime we are currently living - whether it's our first, our second, or third.

Personally, I would not want to take the risk of losing the Work for ever. I have been given so much, have been so greatly changed, over the years I've been in the Work that there is nothing for which I'd willingly exchange it.

But someone who hasn't understood the real value of the Work - or who has, but can't face the effort they know they must make to persevere with it - loses sight of the fact that it may be their last chance to meet with it.

Perhaps they will encounter it again in their next life, if they are given one. But if not, they've thrown away that pearl of great price which gave meaning to their existence, and the only way they may continue their progress is by the long, hard Way of the Good Householder.

We should be very sorry when someone leaves the Work - and very grateful, too, that we have remained.

The Work and Our Surroundings

We've moved! Now we're settling in to our new life by the sea, in a little Arts and Crafts house which we're filling with our books, art and music. It will take months before we've finished putting it all together, but already we can confirm that it's a wonderful move, and that this is the place where we intend to spend the rest of our lives.

The Work tells us that our Being attracts our Life. After more than 40 years in the Work, half as a student and half also as a teacher, I can attest to the way in which our circumstances change according to our needs.

If we're living "in the Work", then Conscious Humanity arranges for us to have the very best surroundings for our own development. To someone brought up in a palace, this could well mean life in a tiny apartment with few belongings. Their task would be to learn to do without the material goods and luxuries that they may have depended on before they met the Work.

For me and for my husband, however, both of us in the Work, we've found that each house move has brought us different tasks and challengers, to meet which we have had to change and adapt, observing ourselves and externally considering those around us in order to live in harmony.

This final move - at least, we hope and pray that it proves to be so! - has given us the most beautiful surroundings, by the sea, in a lovely, genteel resort town with huge parks and lakes, and with plenty of resources of every kind.

 We feel that we are at last planted in the place where we most truly belong, out of all the many we have inhabited in this life; different continents, different environments, and different neighbourhoods. All have given us material for our personal work. But here, in this little seaside town, we're more free than ever before to concentrate on our inner lives and our closest relationships, since we're now living near to our families.

Christianity has always taught that God will bring good out of every situation as long as we are honestly trying to do His will.

And the Work goes further: Conscious Humanity - all the great saints and holy ones, at the head of which is Jesus Christ - takes a keen interest in the wellbeing of anyone sincerely working on themselves.

They do so because our own personal transformation is of tremendous significance to them. When we evolve, when we become able to cooperate with them in aiding the evolution of our planet and ultimately of our part of the Ray of Creation, they rejoice greatly! They are constantly looking for men of women of "good will", as the Bible says, people who can join in the Great Work of the evolution of the universe.

And, because the Fourth Way is so demanding and intense, and can produce results in a much shorter time than any of the religions, Conscious Humanity willingly helps us by giving us the very best circumstances for our development.

They ensure that we will meet exactly those challenges that we need.  And that does not mean we will have an easy time. Far from it!

Depending on our individual situation, we could be placed in financial hardship, causing us to work harder to support ourselves while at the same time keeping in mind our ultimate goal of spiritual growth; or we might find ourselves embroiled in difficult family situations, that encourage us to purify our emotional centre as quickly as possible so that we can externally consider others and see what needs to be done.

It might be that - as has happened to me quite frequently over the course of my 70-something years - we are called to physically move over large distances, so as not to become too dependent on our physical or human environment, and to be willing to leave behind everything familiar in order to follow our higher purpose.

The Work will do this for us, and while we always have a choice in these matters, we will slowly become more able to understand what's best for our development, and hence be able to adapt to many different circumstances - just as Gurdjieff did over his long and eventful lifetime.

Someone living according to an orthodox religious path will be able to see the hand of God at work in their lives, and will see what conduces to leading a good, conscientious life in the midst of challenges.

But the Work is quicker! It speeds things up! And if we can see what each change calls on us to do, how we can best develop in understanding and Being with every new situation, we will find ourselves one day in the best of all possible worlds - for us, that is.

Of course, this life is only one stage in our pilgrimage. Our development continues after physical death, though in exactly what form we cannot know. But we can trust that the unfoldment that has begun here and now will give us the very best circumstances now, and in eternity - and that, in God's wonderful celestial economy, what is good for us is ultimately good for the universe.

The Last Week of the Christmas Season

Yes, this is the last week of the Christmas season. If you've long since taken down your decorations, planted your tree and removed your Christmas cards, don't worry - the Christmas season is a lot more comprehensive than that.

As we've seen in previous posts, Christmas is about receiving Light. And for us in the Work, the birth of the Light means a new birth in Essence.

From the end of October through until February 2nd, the Earth's journey round the Sun exposes it to certain frequencies which are received in greater concentration at this time of the year. They originate from far higher in the Ray of Creation, and it is for this reason that the feast of Christ's birth has long been celebrated on December 25th, following the Shortest Day (the Winter Solstice) on December 21st.

 From the 21st until the 25th, the Sun appears to stand still - the origin of the word "solstice" - and then, from the 25th, begins its apparent movement to lengthen the days once more. The conscious men and women who created the spiritual festivals knew of these special times, and they placed appropriate feasts and fasts to take advantage of them.

By February 2nd, the increase in solar light is obvious. We notice that the days are lengthening once more, and the first flowers of spring, tiny snowdrops and crocuses, begin to appear. At this time, ewes begin to lactate, giving February 2nd its Celtic name of "Imbolc", or incoming milk.

To Christians, it's known as Candlemass, another festival of light, when candles were traditionally taken to church to be blessed for the coming year.

It's more significantly celebrated as the Feast of the Presentation of the Virgin, because forty days after the birth of a child women would go to church (and before that, to the Temple in Jerusalem) to be "purified".

More than this, however, it is the festival when the infant Christ is shown to the elders of the Temple and makes His first public appearance.

The Bible describes this occasion as the day when Simeon, a man who who had long watched for the coming of the Messiah, realized that Jesus (Yeshua, in Hebrew) was the answer to the thousand-year longings of the Jewish people. His famous "Song of Simeon" may be found in the Gospel of Luke, ch.2, vv 29-32.

What does this have to do with the Work?

You will remember that at Christmas, the entire Earth celebrates the birth of the Divine Child. We've prepared for this event by pondering our own death, and the urgent need for us to work on ourselves, during November; by fasting during Advent in expectation of the new birth in Essence to take place on December 25th; by protecting that new life from Second Force both within and without (Herod, in the Bible); and now by getting ready to show this light to the world at the Feast of the Presentation,

In other words, we continue to watch over our inner Divine Child, to ponder over what we have learned during this season, while readying ourselves for the tests we will have to face in life.

We are still in a special season, and the proximity of the Sun to Sirius and to the most sensitive areas of the galaxy will continue to be experienced through this next feast until the great, triumphant celebration of Easter.

We know that during Lent, which this year begins at the end of February, we will face extra tests and challenges, but by now our understanding will, we hope, be strong enough to withstand temptations and trials.

The season of Lent marks the time of concentrated testing for us, which is followed by the intense concentration of Holy Week. We realize that we must place the Work first if it is to survive the season of tests and trials, which are intended to strengthen us to the point where we are able to sacrifice our Imaginary I, the entity that directs our False Personality, on Good Friday.

Easter marks the victory of the Work in us, the rising to life of Real I, which every year is able to increase in power and influence as long as we work on ourselves.

After Easter, the orbits of the Earth around the Sun and of the Sun around Sirius take us to areas of the galaxy where we are faced with a different set of influences, those that favour the putting into practice of all we have gained from our inner journey during the season of relative darkness.

This rhythm of the Christian year, which is not confined to those who observe the Christian religion but is best understood within that context, has been recognized for thousands of years, from long before the actual religion of Christianity was born. We may trace its symbols in the festivals of the ancient Egyptians, the Essenes, the Greek Mysteries, the cult of Mithras, and others. All foreshadowed the ultimate experience of the Life of Christ, the God-Man, on Earth.

It is a guide to the emphases of our Work life as they vary from month to month, and by understanding the influences which act on us at different times we can take advantage of them to strengthen our inner work and our Real I.

The importance and inner meanings of these seasons were always taught by Dr Nicoll, Mrs Pogson, and my own Work teacher, Marion Davison. Each year we contemplated them anew and different tasks were given which corresponded to the phase of the year through which we journeyed. I continued the tradition in my own groups, and in my inner life I find that each year I become more sensitive to these influences, and better able to plan my own personal work to accord with them.

I hope this series of posts will help readers to do the same.

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This is an appropriate time for me to take a break from this blog, because we are about to move house.

Since my husband retired we have been involved in the lengthy process of selling our old house and purchasing our next - and final - home. The house to which we're moving is more than 80 years old and had been badly neglected, so we've been busy restoring, renovating and improving it so that it's ready for us to live in.

We're moving in next week, on Candlemass, and we're calling our house "Little Walsingham" in honour of the Holy Family and the National Shrine of Our Lady, where we've spent many retreats and holidays.

For a while I'll be offline, as we get settled in, but am planning to resume writing in mid-February, so I hope to see you then!