The Divine Mercy and Self-Compassion

This Sunday, Catholics celebrate the Feast of the Divine Mercy. If you're a Catholic, you already know all about this feast. If not, a brief summary is in order: the Divine Mercy is a traditional Christian feast which had fallen into disuse, but during the earlier part of the 20th Century a Polish nun, Sister Faustina, was asked by Jesus to revive it, and to have a special picture painted which would illustrate the way that Jesus's mercy and compassion radiate to the whole world. The Feast of the Divine Mercy always takes place on the first Sunday after Easter Sunday. It therefore falls on the Octave of Easter, and emphasizes the central meaning of the whole festival of Easter - the loving kindness of God towards us, the God who would rather go through the agony of death than lose a single soul to sin. That face of God is that of the father of the prodigal son; when we turn to him he runs towards us and celebrates our return. You may have seen the Divine Mercy image in a Catholic church or bookshop. It shows Jesus standing with His right arm raised in blessing, with two rays - one red and one white - radiating from His Sacred Heart, sending compassion to all. Jesus told Sister Faustina, now canonized as St. Faustina, that He longed for the whole world to trust in His Divine Mercy. He wished everyone not only to trust in His Mercy, but also to show mercy towards others in thought, word and deed. The reason for wishing this Feast to be re-established today, He told St. Faustina, was that we are now much closer to His Second Coming, and when He arrives He will administer the final judgement. Anyone may obtain mercy now, but if they fail to trust in Him they will face His judgement when He comes again. Clearly, we all wish to obtain Mercy, and now is the era in which Jesus wishes Mercy to spread throughout the world, Mercy towards others but also towards ourselves; in this aspect, the Divine Mercy has much in common with the self compassion movement. Self compassion is a school of thought which emphasizes being compassionate and merciful towards ourselves. It's not an excuse for selfish behaviour, but is an antidote to all the harsh, critical, harmful I's in us that are ready to step in and condemn us every time we make a mistake. Self compassion is being recognized as a helpful approach in counselling, and while in itself it is not a spiritual discipline, it's certainly a healthy way of seeing oneself as one truly is. As such, it can help us in our work efforts. From working on ourselves we've seen how critical and judgmental we often are towards ourselves, how we often stop ourselves from making accurate observations because we're afraid to look. That fear comes from the feeling that we are unworthy and constantly fail, which is quite true; but we also know that the critical, judging I's which bedevil our attempts to know ourselves are completely useless, and so far from helping us to progress, they actually hinder us and involve us in a vicious circle. We see something, some I, which another I rushes in and judges. The result is a war of separate, small I's, getting nowhere and sabotaging our personal work. We are all taught that these attitudes are useless, and that we need to dis-identify from these critical, condemnatory I's so that we may see ourselves as we really are. But - for some types more than others - these critical I's are very strong. They clamp down on our attempts at self-observation and cause mayhem. For intellectual centre types, especially, they can pose a very serious threat to personal work. And people who judge themselves harshly also judge others, and can be difficult companions, so that their relationships suffer and family life is problematic. The antidote is self compassion, although it is not necessarily expressed in those terms. A Work teacher, a Work group, can be models of self compassion and compassion towards one another. We observe ourselves as accurately as we can, without self-justifying, and report on our observations to the group. We see that we are all in the same state, all too often falling far short of the aims we set ourselves, and that this is simply how we are. Our teachers don't condemn us for it, and neither do our fellow students. This process is similar to the Little Way of St Therese and fosters true humility and self acceptance. And as for identifying with the critical I's, this is simply futile. It perpetuates the inner conflicts which stop us from seeing ourselves and from giving ourselves the First Conscious Shock. In the Work, therefore, we have to learn to let go of these I's and their negative, harmful companions, the harsh thoughts, the condemnations, even - at time - the despair. I think we Catholics may have an easier time in some respects. If we regularly go to Confession, we acknowledge our faults and receive assurance from the priest, who represents Christ to us, that we are forgiven, absolved, given a fresh start. If we are particularly prone to judgementalism, either towards ourselves or towards others, our confessor may remind us of the words of Christ to the woman taken in adultery. She was about to be stoned to death, surrounded by a crowd who all condemned her for her wickedness. Jesus stops them from killing her by saying, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone". Of course, nobody is without sin, and so the crowd disperses and spares the woman's life. Jesus asks her, "Does anyone now condemn you?" "No," she replies. "Neither do I condemn you," Jesus tells her. "Go and sin no more." We may take this as a literal story or as an allegory. The crowds of condemning I's are those which rail against us, in our own False Personality, condemning us to death for our perceived sins. None of them have the right to kill; all are guilty of some sort of sin, because they are in error and cannot see the truth, the whole picture. In such a state, we may fear that Jesus - our Real I - will also condemn us. But this doesn't happen. Instead, He tells her to go - and also, which is very important, to sin no more. The whole story shows us how to have compassion on ourselves, and compassion towards others. It's important that we admit our shortcomings, our sins, the many ways in which we fall short; and if we honestly do so, we have the chance to try again, to continue our life, our personal work, free of condemnation and with the aim of "sinning no more". To be told that one is granted absolution in the Confessional is a very important part of life as a Catholic. We hear those words, we understand them as coming from Christ, from our Real I if we are in the Work, and we experience release and mercy. We go on our way lighter in heart and with a new energy to use in our efforts. We are loved in our littleness, in our imperfection, as long as we are humble enough to admit our faults and to try again. Compassion towards ourselves includes the acknowledgment that we have fallen short of our aims, and the wish to do better; it sees that we do indeed fall short, but, like St. Therese, uses that understanding for self-acceptance. At the same time, we see that we harm ourselves when we miss the mark, or sin. So real self compassion includes the determination to avoid sin and to live according to our Real Conscience. If we do this, then no matter how many times we may fail, we are not condemned. We are picked up, consoled, loved and set on our feet once more with a new chance. That is real self compassion. Note: The description I have given of the Divine Mercy Feast is very abbreviated. It is a truly inspiring devotion, and if you want to know more you could visit the Divine Mercy Message website, and also - if you are really interested, as I am - read the Diary of Saint Faustina. It's very long, but also very rewarding.