Dark NIght - or Depression?

As a counsellor, I've often worked with clients suffering from depression. A combination of therapies usually works best, by which I mean anti-depressant medication together with psychotherapy. The client's mood first has to be stabilized with medication before the "talking cure" can be effective, and we're fortunate today in having many different anti-depressants for doctors to prescribe. Often it's a matter of trial and error, but eventually the medication begins to kick in and the client is able to look at the reasons behind the depression and work on improving his mood - and, if necessary, making beneficial changes in his life. We talk about endogenous depression (the kind that originates in a brain disorder, so that insufficient endorphins are manufactured, or they are dissipated too fast to be of help). Anti-depressants relieve this type of depression, but psychotherapy is also very helpful in encouraging the client to look at factors in his life which may be contributing to the mood disorder. The second type of depression is called reactive, because it's brought on by disturbing and difficult life events. The client is reacting to something that has happened, possibly after a long period of stress. Here, too, anti-depressants can be useful, because whatever the cause of the depression the client must be in a stable and rational state of mind to benefit from counselling or psychoanalysis. Of course, in real life it's very difficult to distinguish between the two, because usually both types are present, with one or the other predominant. Long-term stress affects the brain's chemistry; endogenous depression leads to more stress, as the client withdraws more and more from life and fails to tackle his problems. You can't really separate the two forms in reality, so anyone with severe depression also needs to see a doctor for an assessment as to suitability for anti-depressant medication. But recently my attention has been drawn to a third type of psychological disturbance, one that often mimics depression but which is not identical to it. I'm talking about the so-called "dark night of the soul", described by St John of the Cross and other mystical writers, in which Christians who are following the Way of Illumination can suddenly be plunged into seeming darkness. I'm referring to Christians, but followers of other religions may also face similar experiences; I'm not familiar with the forms they would take, however, and am not qualified to write about them. Here, I'm talking about a specifically Christian experience which many devout followers of Jesus face in their walk towards closer union with God. The pilgrim is actually moving closer to God in the so-called dark night of the soul, but it seems quite otherwise. He becomes intensely aware of his own sinful nature and the great difference between his own being and that of God. The individual feels that God is further away from him than ever, and with this perception (which is erroneous) comes a sense of great sadness. Previously, he had enjoyed his prayer times and participating in the Eucharist; now, he is deprived of these consolations and feels abandoned. In this sense of sadness the dark night imitates depression. Inexperienced counsellors, especially if they are not from a background of faith, may mistake one for the other. And the situation is further confused by the fact that both may coexist. A depressed client may be undergoing the dark night as well as depression - and the person who knows, from his or her spiritual director, that he is in the dark night may also be depressed. The most helpful way to distinguish between them, and to give the client the maximum psychological and spiritual help, is for a counsellor and parish priest to work closely together when faced with someone in this situation. I have been doing this recently with a middle-aged woman whom I'll call Julie. Obviously, this is not her real name, and I've altered other personal details to preserve her anonymity. She gave permission for me to tell her story, because she thought it might be useful to others, and I agree. Julie, at 55, was experiencing a state of depression brought on by a quarrel with one of her adult children. Her son, whose marriage was breaking up, accused Julie of bringing him up unwisely so that he could not relate well to women; he implied that his own problems were all Julie's fault. As a single mother, deserted by her partner after the birth of their son, Julie had always worried that she was an inadequate mother, and her son's accusations triggered an acute sense of guilt, of total uselessness and failure as a parent and as a human being. No wonder she was depressed. Her parish priest, however, thought that something else might be going on, and with Julie's permission we talked about her situation and what might be happening to her. He knew Julie to be a devout Christian, and felt that she was in a process of deeper enlightenment that could emerge after she had lived through the dark night. Julie's depressed mood was stabilized by anti-depressant medication, but she still felt deeply unworthy. As a practicing Christian who regularly attended Mass and prayed and meditated every day, Julie began to feel increasingly cut off from God. Her sense of God's absence was different from depression. She did not feel the self-loathing that had assaulted her during her depression, but she did feel her own sinfulness, and wondered what had gone wrong in her relationship with God. Nothing was wrong, her parish priest told her: her situation was typical of what is experienced by every pilgrim and would-be saint, and would come to an end when it had run its course. It was, he said, a form of purification that is necessary to enjoy greater union with God, and this is what would happen as long as Julie stayed faithful to her prayer life. The dark night of the soul was, said the priest, actually a case of being blinded by the light! The tremendous love and light of God so overwhelm the seeker's soul that it feels like darkness at first, but the pilgrim who persists will find at last that he is enjoying a closeness to God that he has never before been able to attain. One state - depression or dark night - does not exclude the other. If anyone feels that he might be going through either of these processes, it's really important to discuss it with a priest as well as a doctor. In Julie's case she found that she did indeed feel closer to God in the end, but if she had not sought treatment for depression she might never have realized the underlying, beneficial process taking place in her soul. Gurdjieff describes the dark night experience in "All and Everything". The souls approaching most closely to God feel deeply their own sinfulness, and their separation from their Creator. Even their very existence as individuals can come to seem painful. They want to dissolve into unity with God, but cannot do so by their own efforts. This story is very illuminating and deserves serious study by all Work students, but especially by anyone who thinks they may be experiencing a dark night. May all who undergo this darkness come through it stronger, wiser and closer to their goal.