Throughout the Western world, customs and traditions mark this time of the year as a special period for remembering those who've died. We've noted in previous posts how some of these traditions have filtered down to us today, from Hallowe'en to All Saints and All Souls Day. But the Christian church has set aside the entire month of November to honour the dead, and it encourages us to meditate on the Four Last Things at this time of year: Death, Judgement, Heaven and Hell.
In the United Kingdom we mark the respect owed to our fallen dead, those who have fought to defend our nations in times of war. Annually, we commemorate this occasion on November 11th, since the ending of the First World War actually occurred at the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. We buy poppies and wear them to show support for all the fallen in all the wars, and the debt we owe to them. To honour them in this way is to honour peace and to regret violence.
Prominent in all these rituals and observances is the truth transmitted by the Catholic and Orthodox Christian churches: that we are all born to die, and that we must hold in mind the thought of our own death, which could happen at any time.
We learn from Gurdjieff that we should always and everywhere bear in mind that we, and everyone we know, are going to die, and that fact - which is not pessimistic but realistic - is a great spur to our personal work.
But another thought ought also to concern us: the legacy transmitted by our own ancestors, and the legacy which we ourselves will some day leave.
I'm not talking about money and material goods, which are beyond our control. but the spiritual and psychological legacy of our past which has affected our lives, and which much of our own personal efforts is directed to overcome or to appreciate, as the case may be.
In the Work, of course, we don't talk about our childhood experiences, because what matters is now, and what we're doing right now to work on ourselves.
In therapy, in the Twelve Steps, and in the myriad occasions of everyday life, we can't help bearing in mind that much of what we do, think and feel is not our own, but something which has been handed down to us through many generations, whether we wanted it or not!
Courageous therapeutic work is often necessary to overcome a negative legacy. I remember clients who were sexually abused and who worked extremely hard to detach themselves from the harm that was caused them, so that their lives might proceed free from the evil effects their abusers brought about.
There may have been a legacy of depression, with both physical and psychological causes. Someone brought up by a depressed parent will often become a depressed child and adult. And there may also be recognizable physical causes for such a legacy; genes for depression, alcoholism and drug addictions are already being discovered, and we can expect much more scientific work along these lines as we uncover the secrets of our DNA.
In the Work, we believe such physical causes are part of our Essence. A faulty Essence is the legacy of many of us today, but with careful personal work, and therapy as and when it is indicated, these faults may be overcome and a complete end put to the harmful psychological symptoms that accompany them.
As the Bible says, the "sins" of the fathers - the occasions of "missing the mark", or hamartein in Greek - are visited on the third and fourth generations. They may continue indefinitely until someone has the courage and foresight to undertake the difficult work of ending them in their own life.
We ourselves transmit a physical and psychological legacy to our own children.
If we don't have any biological children, we certainly have people whom we affect in many ways, and who are influenced by our own behaviour. And what we do today, of course, affects the future of the entire planet and the human race.
Are we working on ourselves to leave a beneficial legacy behind us?
Will we transmit the knowledge we have been given in the Work, and in other spheres? Will we inspire those around us to work on themselves, as they may have seen us do?
Or, on the contrary, will we leave a legacy of loss and misfortune?
We may have quite unknowingly and unavoidably passed on a legacy of alcoholism or addiction. We can't help this. But we can choose how we treat our children if they manifest this disease. We can avoid enabling them, we can encourage them to come into recovery, and we can - if we ourselves have worked on these conditions - present them with an example of how to handle such a legacy so that it becomes actually beneficial.
For instance, we may, as many have done, enter a Twelve Step programme, and we can then tell our children what we are doing and how it is helping us. They will see the results for themselves, and it may well encourage them to do likewise. We may not have actually been alcoholics or addicts, but if the gene is in our family we will have been affected by it. Our wisest course will be to attend the Twelve Step Alanon groups, so that we can learn the best ways of handling such a family problem, and show our own children and others by example how to deal with it.
In our day to day lives we also transmit a legacy, less dramatic but just as powerful. We choose whether to meet an adverse event with courage and determination, or whether to ignore problems until they become very difficult to deal with.
We meet other people with compassion when they harm us, and with remorse if we have harmed them. All this is part of our legacy. They will remember how we behaved, for better or worse. We can cause them harm or we can benefit them: the choice is ours. But one or the other is inevitable.
We use difficult circumstances as a chance to develop new skills and discard old attitudes. We meet events consciously, and remember the importance of choosing the right Third Force. We ask ourselves, is our Third Force that of Life, or is it the Work - are we acting expediently or according to our conscience?
We transmit the legacy of the Work when we act according to our understanding of it. We know which I's are useful are which are harmful; we allow the former a voice, and detach from the others. We refuse to pass on the harm we ourselves have received from others.
We know when to put the necessary shocks into an octave, whether it be in our personal work or in undertaking some concrete task in the world. This, too, is our legacy.
What do you want to people to say at your funeral?
What would you like your obituary to say?
As a Work exercise, particularly appropriate to November, you might try writing your own obituary. It will show you what your legacy may be - and encourage you to pass on only good to future generations.
But another thought ought also to concern us: the legacy transmitted by our own ancestors, and the legacy which we ourselves will some day leave.
I'm not talking about money and material goods, which are beyond our control. but the spiritual and psychological legacy of our past which has affected our lives, and which much of our own personal efforts is directed to overcome or to appreciate, as the case may be.
In the Work, of course, we don't talk about our childhood experiences, because what matters is now, and what we're doing right now to work on ourselves.
In therapy, in the Twelve Steps, and in the myriad occasions of everyday life, we can't help bearing in mind that much of what we do, think and feel is not our own, but something which has been handed down to us through many generations, whether we wanted it or not!
Courageous therapeutic work is often necessary to overcome a negative legacy. I remember clients who were sexually abused and who worked extremely hard to detach themselves from the harm that was caused them, so that their lives might proceed free from the evil effects their abusers brought about.
There may have been a legacy of depression, with both physical and psychological causes. Someone brought up by a depressed parent will often become a depressed child and adult. And there may also be recognizable physical causes for such a legacy; genes for depression, alcoholism and drug addictions are already being discovered, and we can expect much more scientific work along these lines as we uncover the secrets of our DNA.
In the Work, we believe such physical causes are part of our Essence. A faulty Essence is the legacy of many of us today, but with careful personal work, and therapy as and when it is indicated, these faults may be overcome and a complete end put to the harmful psychological symptoms that accompany them.
As the Bible says, the "sins" of the fathers - the occasions of "missing the mark", or hamartein in Greek - are visited on the third and fourth generations. They may continue indefinitely until someone has the courage and foresight to undertake the difficult work of ending them in their own life.
We ourselves transmit a physical and psychological legacy to our own children.
If we don't have any biological children, we certainly have people whom we affect in many ways, and who are influenced by our own behaviour. And what we do today, of course, affects the future of the entire planet and the human race.
Are we working on ourselves to leave a beneficial legacy behind us?
Will we transmit the knowledge we have been given in the Work, and in other spheres? Will we inspire those around us to work on themselves, as they may have seen us do?
Or, on the contrary, will we leave a legacy of loss and misfortune?
We may have quite unknowingly and unavoidably passed on a legacy of alcoholism or addiction. We can't help this. But we can choose how we treat our children if they manifest this disease. We can avoid enabling them, we can encourage them to come into recovery, and we can - if we ourselves have worked on these conditions - present them with an example of how to handle such a legacy so that it becomes actually beneficial.
For instance, we may, as many have done, enter a Twelve Step programme, and we can then tell our children what we are doing and how it is helping us. They will see the results for themselves, and it may well encourage them to do likewise. We may not have actually been alcoholics or addicts, but if the gene is in our family we will have been affected by it. Our wisest course will be to attend the Twelve Step Alanon groups, so that we can learn the best ways of handling such a family problem, and show our own children and others by example how to deal with it.
In our day to day lives we also transmit a legacy, less dramatic but just as powerful. We choose whether to meet an adverse event with courage and determination, or whether to ignore problems until they become very difficult to deal with.
We meet other people with compassion when they harm us, and with remorse if we have harmed them. All this is part of our legacy. They will remember how we behaved, for better or worse. We can cause them harm or we can benefit them: the choice is ours. But one or the other is inevitable.
We use difficult circumstances as a chance to develop new skills and discard old attitudes. We meet events consciously, and remember the importance of choosing the right Third Force. We ask ourselves, is our Third Force that of Life, or is it the Work - are we acting expediently or according to our conscience?
We transmit the legacy of the Work when we act according to our understanding of it. We know which I's are useful are which are harmful; we allow the former a voice, and detach from the others. We refuse to pass on the harm we ourselves have received from others.
We know when to put the necessary shocks into an octave, whether it be in our personal work or in undertaking some concrete task in the world. This, too, is our legacy.
What do you want to people to say at your funeral?
What would you like your obituary to say?
As a Work exercise, particularly appropriate to November, you might try writing your own obituary. It will show you what your legacy may be - and encourage you to pass on only good to future generations.
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