Last week we looked at the significance of the Summer Solstice, the Full Moon which took place then, and the northern hemisphere festival of Midsummer (St John's Tide), on June 24th.
The entire season traditionally lasted for one month, although celebrations were not held continuously because of the need to bring in the harvest. Fruits, vegetables, and the first grain harvest are all ripening now, and the predominant feeling at this time is one of gratitude.
From the middle of July until the beginning of September the harvest will be gathered in and eventually celebrated in ancient church rituals, which have a pagan origin.
In earlier times, if the weather had been bad and the harvest a poor one, the tribe's king might be sacrificed and his blood used to moisten the earth, in a grisly foreshadowing of Christ's sacrifice on the cross. Such rituals show that even from prehistoric times men and women understood that the Earth was a living being, ruled by powers they did not understand but which might well need propitiation. The tribe could plant, could sow, could weed and nurture, but ultimately the results were not within their control.
Today, we in the Work - and many other Good Householders all over the world - know that there is one God, one Spirit, the most Holy Sun Absolute, who created all that exists. We also know that there are Beings of unimaginably high existence, far above all that we can see, Archangels, Cherubim and Seraphim, who guide the conditions for growth on all planets and help the evolution of the universe.
And the Work teaches that sacrifice is indeed necessary for evolution to continue, and for Nature to be able to work as she should. We make this sacrifice voluntarily - by Conscious Labour and Intentional Suffering - or involuntarily, when large numbers of people are killed in disasters or wars around the world. Nature demands a certain substance that is produced only by the Sacred Rascooarno, and if we do not work on ourselves and make this substance of our free will it must be taken from humanity involuntarily.
So our early forebears, who dimly apprehended that sacrifice was necessary in order for the natural world to continue to bear fruit and support the population, were actually not far off the mark.
Today, we are beginning to reclaim the idea of Earth - Gaia - as a sacred, living Being. More and more people are working to cleanse, support and nourish the planet, but at the same time, unless there are more conscious people working on themselves to produce the very fine substances needed by Nature, these efforts will not eliminate the need for large numbers of human "sacrifices".
It is more urgent than ever that we should make these sacrifices voluntarily, psychologically, to avert even greater disasters.
And by doing so we ensure the continuation of life, with all its possibilities for evolution, especially for those of us three-brained beings who understand why we are here and who embrace our duties with joy and gratitude.
* * *
FYI: In accordance with the needs of my Essence, and that of my husband, we are moving next week to live close to the sea and close to our families.
This blog will therefore take a month's break, while we are in the process of moving house. There has been much Second Force surrounding this move, but the Solstice and the Full Moon brought about a miraculous breakthrough and we are now finalizing all the arrangements.
It is really important for everyone that - as far as we are able - we live in surroundings that nourish our Essence. It's not always possible to choose exactly where we live, but in our own case, now that we are both retired, we are free to fulfill a long-held dream: to return to the seaside and to spend much more time with family.
See you in a month!
Wednesday, 29 June 2016
Monday, 20 June 2016
Summer Solstice and Full Moon - A Rare Combination
Today, June 20th, sees the conjunction of a Full Moon with the Summer Solstice, a rare event which last occurred in 1967, just before the famous - or notorious - "Summer of Love".
Can we expect a similar configuration of energies in the summer of 2016?
Yes and no. That a large, somewhat unfocussed, outpouring of energy is taking place now is evident. We have already seen a series of violent events take place across the globe, from the mass shootings of homosexuals in a Florida club to the assassination of a Labour MP in England; everything taking place against what has sadly become a familiar backdrop of atrocities committed by Islamic State and other terrorist groups in the Middle East.
They are assassinating Christians, Sufis, Ahmadiyya Muslims, Jews and anyone who does not share Isis's horrific and literally diabolical world view. For I am quite certain that this movement comes straight from the depths of hell. It has so much in common with Hitler and the Nazis, and we should remember that the Nazis and the leaders of various hate-filled Muslim groups at that time were great friends and allies in their aim to exterminate Jews and Christians.
I'm reminded of Gurdjieff's comments about war, that wars occur when men are stimulated by cosmic tensions, especially when Mars is involved. And Mars has been retrograde in Scorpio for some time now, and will turn direct only on June 29th.
But the cosmic energy itself is neither good nor evil. It depends on how we assimilate it. Cosmic tensions can be used for our own spiritual growth if we are aware of them, and of the I's which they stir up in us. The effort not to identify, to go against the crowd of negative I's in the emotional and intellectual centres which various planetary aspects are now stimulating, can give us a powerful boost on our spiritual path.
Let's look at the significance of the Solstice, and then consider the effect of the Full Moon and the various planetary aspects at work right now. And remember that the cosmic events themselves, though lasting only for a short while in linear time, exert their influence for months, possibly years, to come.
Anthroposophists believe that influences absorbed at the Solstice reach their fruition in nine months' time, just like a human pregnancy. And nine months from today culminates in the March Equinox.
There is much truth in Anthroposophy, which is basically an esoteric form of Christianity, as of course is the Work itself. Theosophy, one of the chief influences on the anthroposophy movement, contains a number of esoteric truths, though unfortunately it became somewhat muddled and ineffectual as the movement spread and was watered down. Ouspensky was a strong supporter of Theosophy in its earlier years, but abandoned it later because he thought it had lost its way.
Anthroposophy, however, reclaimed much of the Theosophical teachings on astrology and solar cycles, and related it to the Christian festivals in a coherent and enlightening manner.
According to this viewpoint - which was espoused by Beryl Pogson, and later by my own teacher, Marian Davison, from whom I learned much invaluable astrological knowledge - the Summer Solstice is the point when the Earth reaches the culmination of its out-breath, so to speak. Immediately afterwards, the Earth begins once more to breathe in, and will reach this maximum point at Christmas.
The solar year is divided into two clear parts; the Winter Solstice, when the Earth begins to breathe out, and the Summer Solstice, when once more the Earth takes an in-breath. The whole cycle is therefore one "breath" of the Earth, each with different emphases and effects.
At each solstice there is a pause between the breaths. At the Winter Solstice, which takes place on December 21st, the pause lasts through to Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. In the intervening days the sun appears to stand still from the viewpoint of the Earth.
At the Summer Solstice, occuring on June 21st, the sun again appears to stand still until St. John's Tide, or Midsummer Day, on June 24th.
And at this point, the Summer Solstice, "the soul of the earth rises in longing towards the heights, seeking communion with the universe, with the light and warmth of the sun and his companions, the stars .... her long outbreathing is completed, and her whole soul (the collective soul of humanity) has gone forth in devotion ... Matter seeks Spirit, returning to its origin" (from The Christian Year by Evelyn Frances Capel).
In a confused way, not knowing or understanding the real origins of their longing, crowds gather at significant planetary points such as Stonehenge for the celebration of the Solstice. They seem to realize there is a special energy available now, that of the collective human soul and the telluric energies of the Earth itself, which reaches out towards the sun during these special days. This energy can help the individual to become more aware of her deepest spiritual longings, and to see where she is on her individual journey. It increases her power to wish, in the Work sense, from which can come much fruit.
At the Summer Solstice, if you are sensitive to these energies - as most people in the Work surely are - you may experience a real inrush of spiritual growth and insight. If you are wise enough to ask a question now, you will surely receive an answer. You will be shown what you need to do in order to take the next step in your spiritual ascent.
The conjunction of this event with a rare Full Moon gives the whole Solstice a very special coloration.
This Full Moon is the second to occur in Sagittarius - the last one took place in May this year - which is, in itself, a rare event. The archer is reaching forth to shoot her arrows of insight and change into the areas of our lives where we most need this impetus. Each soul must determine for itself what those areas are, and a careful and thorough reading of your own birthchart will show you precisely what you need to change. Everyone interested in cosmic astrology should own an ephemeris, should know the sensitive points in their own birthchart, and be able to relate the heavenly events to their own horoscope. This is real astrology.
I can, however, offer some general remarks. First, the planets are now forming a Grand Cross, though somewhat loosely, which reflects the scattered nature of the energies now. Change is in the air for everyone, and along with this we will all be experiencing some degree of tension, possibly anxiety, concerning major events in our lives. For some, the temptation to identify with worrying I's will be almost impossible to overcome. Yet, it must be done, for otherwise a great opportunity for transformation will be wasted in petty anxieties.
The Sun is conjunct Venus, and this means that, even though change may come more rapidly than we would like, it will be overall positive for all who can take advantage of it. Venus is always beneficent, and if there are stresses in relationships she will help us to find harmony and peace with people who may have been a source of tension.
At the same time, Mars is still retrograde in Scorpio, and will continue to be retrograde until June 29th. This adds to the stirring up of tensions, and means that we need to re-examine some of our past actions and attitudes. Where we ourselves have made mistakes and caused problems for others, we will find we want to resolve them now, even though this may involve some deep psychological and spiritual searching. The process will be painful for some, but it must be undergone, otherwise the tensions will remain and the beneficial effects of Venus will be blocked.
After June 29th, transformation will be rapid - if we have worked for it. We will experience a real breakthrough in situations we had thought impervious to change.
And the Solstice, which is always a gateway for cosmic energies to pour forth upon the Earth, will facilitate these changes in a very positive way.
Mercury in Gemini is opposing Saturn in Sagittarius now, further emphasizing the need for detailed analysis to be accompanied by far-reaching willingness to change. Jupiter is also conjunct the Earth's North Node, showing that all efforts to work on ourselves are under very beneficial influences.
Putting all this together, there could not be a better time for personal work on oneself.
We are now able to offer all that we have learned in the previous year to the heavens, to Conscious Humanity, as embodied in the Sun and the planets. Our offering is joined with those of everyone on a spiritual path who is able to make this offering consciously. And this offering, this festival, is symbolized by the figure of St John, or John the Baptist.
Why this particular saint? Because it is he, the Baptist, who awakens the buried conscience which shows us the way to God.
Can we expect a similar configuration of energies in the summer of 2016?
Yes and no. That a large, somewhat unfocussed, outpouring of energy is taking place now is evident. We have already seen a series of violent events take place across the globe, from the mass shootings of homosexuals in a Florida club to the assassination of a Labour MP in England; everything taking place against what has sadly become a familiar backdrop of atrocities committed by Islamic State and other terrorist groups in the Middle East.
They are assassinating Christians, Sufis, Ahmadiyya Muslims, Jews and anyone who does not share Isis's horrific and literally diabolical world view. For I am quite certain that this movement comes straight from the depths of hell. It has so much in common with Hitler and the Nazis, and we should remember that the Nazis and the leaders of various hate-filled Muslim groups at that time were great friends and allies in their aim to exterminate Jews and Christians.
I'm reminded of Gurdjieff's comments about war, that wars occur when men are stimulated by cosmic tensions, especially when Mars is involved. And Mars has been retrograde in Scorpio for some time now, and will turn direct only on June 29th.
But the cosmic energy itself is neither good nor evil. It depends on how we assimilate it. Cosmic tensions can be used for our own spiritual growth if we are aware of them, and of the I's which they stir up in us. The effort not to identify, to go against the crowd of negative I's in the emotional and intellectual centres which various planetary aspects are now stimulating, can give us a powerful boost on our spiritual path.
Let's look at the significance of the Solstice, and then consider the effect of the Full Moon and the various planetary aspects at work right now. And remember that the cosmic events themselves, though lasting only for a short while in linear time, exert their influence for months, possibly years, to come.
Anthroposophists believe that influences absorbed at the Solstice reach their fruition in nine months' time, just like a human pregnancy. And nine months from today culminates in the March Equinox.
There is much truth in Anthroposophy, which is basically an esoteric form of Christianity, as of course is the Work itself. Theosophy, one of the chief influences on the anthroposophy movement, contains a number of esoteric truths, though unfortunately it became somewhat muddled and ineffectual as the movement spread and was watered down. Ouspensky was a strong supporter of Theosophy in its earlier years, but abandoned it later because he thought it had lost its way.
Anthroposophy, however, reclaimed much of the Theosophical teachings on astrology and solar cycles, and related it to the Christian festivals in a coherent and enlightening manner.
According to this viewpoint - which was espoused by Beryl Pogson, and later by my own teacher, Marian Davison, from whom I learned much invaluable astrological knowledge - the Summer Solstice is the point when the Earth reaches the culmination of its out-breath, so to speak. Immediately afterwards, the Earth begins once more to breathe in, and will reach this maximum point at Christmas.
The solar year is divided into two clear parts; the Winter Solstice, when the Earth begins to breathe out, and the Summer Solstice, when once more the Earth takes an in-breath. The whole cycle is therefore one "breath" of the Earth, each with different emphases and effects.
At each solstice there is a pause between the breaths. At the Winter Solstice, which takes place on December 21st, the pause lasts through to Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. In the intervening days the sun appears to stand still from the viewpoint of the Earth.
At the Summer Solstice, occuring on June 21st, the sun again appears to stand still until St. John's Tide, or Midsummer Day, on June 24th.
And at this point, the Summer Solstice, "the soul of the earth rises in longing towards the heights, seeking communion with the universe, with the light and warmth of the sun and his companions, the stars .... her long outbreathing is completed, and her whole soul (the collective soul of humanity) has gone forth in devotion ... Matter seeks Spirit, returning to its origin" (from The Christian Year by Evelyn Frances Capel).
In a confused way, not knowing or understanding the real origins of their longing, crowds gather at significant planetary points such as Stonehenge for the celebration of the Solstice. They seem to realize there is a special energy available now, that of the collective human soul and the telluric energies of the Earth itself, which reaches out towards the sun during these special days. This energy can help the individual to become more aware of her deepest spiritual longings, and to see where she is on her individual journey. It increases her power to wish, in the Work sense, from which can come much fruit.
At the Summer Solstice, if you are sensitive to these energies - as most people in the Work surely are - you may experience a real inrush of spiritual growth and insight. If you are wise enough to ask a question now, you will surely receive an answer. You will be shown what you need to do in order to take the next step in your spiritual ascent.
The conjunction of this event with a rare Full Moon gives the whole Solstice a very special coloration.
This Full Moon is the second to occur in Sagittarius - the last one took place in May this year - which is, in itself, a rare event. The archer is reaching forth to shoot her arrows of insight and change into the areas of our lives where we most need this impetus. Each soul must determine for itself what those areas are, and a careful and thorough reading of your own birthchart will show you precisely what you need to change. Everyone interested in cosmic astrology should own an ephemeris, should know the sensitive points in their own birthchart, and be able to relate the heavenly events to their own horoscope. This is real astrology.
I can, however, offer some general remarks. First, the planets are now forming a Grand Cross, though somewhat loosely, which reflects the scattered nature of the energies now. Change is in the air for everyone, and along with this we will all be experiencing some degree of tension, possibly anxiety, concerning major events in our lives. For some, the temptation to identify with worrying I's will be almost impossible to overcome. Yet, it must be done, for otherwise a great opportunity for transformation will be wasted in petty anxieties.
The Sun is conjunct Venus, and this means that, even though change may come more rapidly than we would like, it will be overall positive for all who can take advantage of it. Venus is always beneficent, and if there are stresses in relationships she will help us to find harmony and peace with people who may have been a source of tension.
At the same time, Mars is still retrograde in Scorpio, and will continue to be retrograde until June 29th. This adds to the stirring up of tensions, and means that we need to re-examine some of our past actions and attitudes. Where we ourselves have made mistakes and caused problems for others, we will find we want to resolve them now, even though this may involve some deep psychological and spiritual searching. The process will be painful for some, but it must be undergone, otherwise the tensions will remain and the beneficial effects of Venus will be blocked.
After June 29th, transformation will be rapid - if we have worked for it. We will experience a real breakthrough in situations we had thought impervious to change.
And the Solstice, which is always a gateway for cosmic energies to pour forth upon the Earth, will facilitate these changes in a very positive way.
Mercury in Gemini is opposing Saturn in Sagittarius now, further emphasizing the need for detailed analysis to be accompanied by far-reaching willingness to change. Jupiter is also conjunct the Earth's North Node, showing that all efforts to work on ourselves are under very beneficial influences.
Putting all this together, there could not be a better time for personal work on oneself.
We are now able to offer all that we have learned in the previous year to the heavens, to Conscious Humanity, as embodied in the Sun and the planets. Our offering is joined with those of everyone on a spiritual path who is able to make this offering consciously. And this offering, this festival, is symbolized by the figure of St John, or John the Baptist.
Why this particular saint? Because it is he, the Baptist, who awakens the buried conscience which shows us the way to God.
Tuesday, 14 June 2016
Lament for a Brilliant, Lost Alcoholic
Last month I wrote a eulogy in praise of my uncle, a Good Householder. Today, however, I have a much sadder task - to write about the tragic, completely unnecessary death of a young alcoholic, in the hope it may warn others about the dangers of ignoring this illness.
Julio (not his real name, of course) was only 40 when he died. An autopsy disclosed that he had cirrhosis of the liver and a large tumour in his stomach. We don't know which of these conditions actually brought about his death, but we do know that they were both caused by his chronic alcoholic drinking.
His death was unnecessary, because both problems were treatable if only he had sought medical help. And what makes his death all the more tragic is the fact that this young man was himself a brilliant doctor, and must have understood only too well what his symptoms meant.
Yet he was unable to stop drinking, even so.
Julio was a friend of my daughter. They lived in different States, but met because they had both been "talent spotted" by an Ivy League American university, in a special programme which scrutinized teens in the talented and gifted classes of high schools to identify the most all-round, gifted students. Their university mentors then sponsored the select few into summer programmes and early university admissions.
These students were the "creme de la creme" of their age group. They all had dazzling careers before them, and the university wanted to make sure their gifts would not be wasted.
Julio and my daughter attended summer school together, at a well-known and highly respected University, and later both went on to receive scholarship funding for their degree programmes. They became good friends, and often visited one another during holidays, keeping in touch by phone and email throughout the years.
The death of this young man was a shocking event. It came completely out of the blue.
What could have made him ignore the many warning signals he must have noticed? The concerns of his friends and family, who saw him drinking his life away? His repeated depressions, his dysfunctional relationships, his lost opportunities?
The answer, of course, is the nature of his illness - alcoholism. It's the only disease which tells you that you don't have it. Denial is part of it, and it keeps millions of alcoholics in subjection to its relentless ravages until one day time runs out, and they die.
Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. In other words, it's a downer - it brings about a state of depression even in those not usually prone to it. And if you are already depressed, as it seems Julio was, then alcohol, far from offering relief, makes that depression a thousand times worse.
Alcoholics die from their illness, and that death comes via many routes. It may be that the alcoholic's organs simply give out, exhausted, so that the body can no longer sustain itself. Sometimes alcoholics die through choking, alone, with nobody to help them. Many alcoholics commit suicide, unable to face the terrible situations their illness has brought about - the broken relationships, the alienated children, the failed career, the utter and desperate loneliness.
Sooner or later, an alcoholic who continues to drink will die from it.
When you try to warn them, it's amazing how persuasive the alcoholic can be! Nothing much wrong with me, they assure you, nothing I can't deal with. Yes, I'll stop drinking. Tomorrow. Just one last party, one last night out .....I can handle it. Don't worry about me.
And their families accept their assurances because they love them and fear for them. They hope against hope that this time the alcoholic means it, and is really going to get help.
Sometimes spouses or parents make appointments for the alcoholic to get counselling. Of course, the alcoholic doesn't show up, or makes it for only one or two appointments, and then drops out. Why? Because it's too hard to keep denying the truth, that it's the drinking that's causing the problems, and they leave before they actually have to admit it, even to themselves.
The only way an alcoholic can survive is to stop drinking. And the best way to ensure recovery is for them to start going to Alcoholics Anonymous, find a sponsor, and keep working the programme.
Very, very few alcoholics actually do recover. The statistics are depressing in themselves, but one key fact emerges again and again, all over the world - AA is the best and safest route to sobriety.
Julio never took that route. He said he was too scared to get help, that if he did, he might lose his medical licence. In fact, that was simply another excuse to keep drinking. AA respects the anonymity of all who seek help, as millions of recovering alcoholics - including me - can confirm.
In AA, I've met recovering doctors, lawyers, teachers, airline pilots, religious ministers and priests, counsellors and psychologists. Everyone is supportive towards everyone else, and the newcomer is always given a warm, sincere welcome. It is a safe place: everyone knows how much is at stake - their lives, their careers, their families, their very existence - and nobody betrays their fellow alcoholics.
I write this because if you, dear reader, have an alcoholic friend or relative, or if you yourself suspect you may suffer from this terrible disease, I hope you will be spurred on to get help.
And if you are struggling to cope with an alcoholic in your own family, please, please make the effort to go to Alanon. Alanon is an anonymous organization which supports people living with, or affected by, an alcoholic. Like AA, Alanon respects your own anonymity. And also like AA, it offers a wholehearted welcome and ongoing support, because it is entirely run by fellow sufferers, people who - like you - have the problem of how to live with, or stay close to, an alcoholic loved one, how best to help the alcoholic without losing their own sanity.
Alcoholism is one of the worst scourges of our times. I hope and pray that anyone reading this who recognizes themselves or someone they love in this situation will get help at once. There really is no time to lose. The clock started ticking when the alcoholic took his first drink.
Julio (not his real name, of course) was only 40 when he died. An autopsy disclosed that he had cirrhosis of the liver and a large tumour in his stomach. We don't know which of these conditions actually brought about his death, but we do know that they were both caused by his chronic alcoholic drinking.
His death was unnecessary, because both problems were treatable if only he had sought medical help. And what makes his death all the more tragic is the fact that this young man was himself a brilliant doctor, and must have understood only too well what his symptoms meant.
Yet he was unable to stop drinking, even so.
Julio was a friend of my daughter. They lived in different States, but met because they had both been "talent spotted" by an Ivy League American university, in a special programme which scrutinized teens in the talented and gifted classes of high schools to identify the most all-round, gifted students. Their university mentors then sponsored the select few into summer programmes and early university admissions.
These students were the "creme de la creme" of their age group. They all had dazzling careers before them, and the university wanted to make sure their gifts would not be wasted.
Julio and my daughter attended summer school together, at a well-known and highly respected University, and later both went on to receive scholarship funding for their degree programmes. They became good friends, and often visited one another during holidays, keeping in touch by phone and email throughout the years.
The death of this young man was a shocking event. It came completely out of the blue.
What could have made him ignore the many warning signals he must have noticed? The concerns of his friends and family, who saw him drinking his life away? His repeated depressions, his dysfunctional relationships, his lost opportunities?
The answer, of course, is the nature of his illness - alcoholism. It's the only disease which tells you that you don't have it. Denial is part of it, and it keeps millions of alcoholics in subjection to its relentless ravages until one day time runs out, and they die.
Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. In other words, it's a downer - it brings about a state of depression even in those not usually prone to it. And if you are already depressed, as it seems Julio was, then alcohol, far from offering relief, makes that depression a thousand times worse.
Alcoholics die from their illness, and that death comes via many routes. It may be that the alcoholic's organs simply give out, exhausted, so that the body can no longer sustain itself. Sometimes alcoholics die through choking, alone, with nobody to help them. Many alcoholics commit suicide, unable to face the terrible situations their illness has brought about - the broken relationships, the alienated children, the failed career, the utter and desperate loneliness.
Sooner or later, an alcoholic who continues to drink will die from it.
When you try to warn them, it's amazing how persuasive the alcoholic can be! Nothing much wrong with me, they assure you, nothing I can't deal with. Yes, I'll stop drinking. Tomorrow. Just one last party, one last night out .....I can handle it. Don't worry about me.
And their families accept their assurances because they love them and fear for them. They hope against hope that this time the alcoholic means it, and is really going to get help.
Sometimes spouses or parents make appointments for the alcoholic to get counselling. Of course, the alcoholic doesn't show up, or makes it for only one or two appointments, and then drops out. Why? Because it's too hard to keep denying the truth, that it's the drinking that's causing the problems, and they leave before they actually have to admit it, even to themselves.
The only way an alcoholic can survive is to stop drinking. And the best way to ensure recovery is for them to start going to Alcoholics Anonymous, find a sponsor, and keep working the programme.
Very, very few alcoholics actually do recover. The statistics are depressing in themselves, but one key fact emerges again and again, all over the world - AA is the best and safest route to sobriety.
Julio never took that route. He said he was too scared to get help, that if he did, he might lose his medical licence. In fact, that was simply another excuse to keep drinking. AA respects the anonymity of all who seek help, as millions of recovering alcoholics - including me - can confirm.
In AA, I've met recovering doctors, lawyers, teachers, airline pilots, religious ministers and priests, counsellors and psychologists. Everyone is supportive towards everyone else, and the newcomer is always given a warm, sincere welcome. It is a safe place: everyone knows how much is at stake - their lives, their careers, their families, their very existence - and nobody betrays their fellow alcoholics.
I write this because if you, dear reader, have an alcoholic friend or relative, or if you yourself suspect you may suffer from this terrible disease, I hope you will be spurred on to get help.
And if you are struggling to cope with an alcoholic in your own family, please, please make the effort to go to Alanon. Alanon is an anonymous organization which supports people living with, or affected by, an alcoholic. Like AA, Alanon respects your own anonymity. And also like AA, it offers a wholehearted welcome and ongoing support, because it is entirely run by fellow sufferers, people who - like you - have the problem of how to live with, or stay close to, an alcoholic loved one, how best to help the alcoholic without losing their own sanity.
Alcoholism is one of the worst scourges of our times. I hope and pray that anyone reading this who recognizes themselves or someone they love in this situation will get help at once. There really is no time to lose. The clock started ticking when the alcoholic took his first drink.
Tuesday, 7 June 2016
Why Love Matters
Why does love matter?
Because without it, life would not be worth living. Without it, we would be less than human. And without its irreplaceable influence in our earliest years, our brains would not develop to their full potential. We could not become fully functioning three-brained beings if we had not been loved as infants.
Psychologist Sue Gerhardt's book, "Why Love Matters," now in its second edition, is of the greatest interest to anyone who cares about human development, personal psychology, abnormal psychology and personality theory. This surely includes everyone reading this blog, and I can't recommend it too highly.
We all know now that the personality of the baby is formed by a complex and delicate process of interaction between the genetic endowment of the child - in Work terms, the Essence with which she is born - and the environment in which she lives. In the world of the tiny baby, the influence of the mother is paramount, and that intimate relationship has the greatest effect of all on what kind of person her baby will become.
Will the child grow to be a secure, well-loved adult, someone capable of loving and empathizing with others? Or will she become an addict, a narcissist, an anxious, obsessive-compulsive sufferer or even a psychopath?
We bring our own special and unique DNA into the world. This is most often a less-than-perfect inheritance; for example, you may have genes that could predispose you to alcohol or opiate addiction, to overeating, or to aggression. But whether or not those genes eventually hold sway over your adult personality depends to a very great extent on the type of mothering you received in the first two years of your life.
Nothing new, you may think. After all, John Bowlby, Melanie Klein, Erich Fromm and many others have written on the various stages of child development and described how the family influences the type of personality, and of course to us in the Work, the false personality, that the child will eventually acquire.
You would be wrong, however, for in this book what Gerhardt does is to actually describe - with diagrams - the effects that different types of mother-baby relationships have on the brain's formation. And this is something new and infinitely valuable for our understanding of how personalities - and, of course, false personalities - come into existence.
As an example, if a loving, empathic relationship is not present for the baby at the very earliest age, that child's orbitofrontal complex does not develop as it should. This part of the brain is responsible for the ability to delay gratification, to manage feelings and to participate in relationships. Early deprivation means that the baby may never fully achieve these abilities. If the opportunity is missed in infancy, the growing child, even if adopted into a loving family, may forever be robbed of his full potential.
Even in pregnancy, stress experienced by the mother can shape the developing brain of her unborn child, influencing the volume of the hippocampus or the amygdala. Some babies are born already stressed, and the mother may experience the baby's crying and refusal to feed as a rejection of her, and then may emotionally withdraw further from her child.
It is the quality and strength of the parents' love, particularly that of the mother, which enables the brain to develop normally. Mothers who are under stress, whether through being a single parent without the support of a partner or family, or through low income or poor housing, or in an abusive relationship, are often unable to show their baby the quality of love that is necessary for proper development. There is good news, however, for with professional help, especially if this help is given at a very early stage, the mother and baby bond may be repaired sufficiently so that the child can develop normally.
Much depends on the ability of the mother (or the primary caregiver, if this is not the biological mother) to understand and manage her own feelings, and in particular to be able to tolerate uncomfortable feelings and relationships without letting them affect her behaviour towards her child.
The ways that children develop will follow certain patterns, which are of course also dependent on the genetic makeup of the child.
Some children may respond to their mother's discomfort by learning to hold back their own feelings, denying them sufficiently that the adults around them may see them as calm, unconcerned children with whom all is well. Underneath, however, many children are a filled with alarming, painful feelings which they know will only distress their caregivers; such children put on a false mask of "OK-ness" which does not reflect their true states. To those of us in the Work, we may see this as one basic characteristic of what will become that child's false personality. It seems that the beginnings of false personality, though not its full-blown manifestations, can arise at a much earlier age than was previously believed.
Some children may become hyper-sensitive to the state of their parents' emotions, so that they learn to read them with an almost psychic attunement. In reality, they have learned very early on to pick up signals from the adults which show when they are most likely to be attentive to the child. The child then times their own demands so that they will get maximum attention, but at the cost of repressing the child's pain. Such behaviour has been observed in many adult children of alcoholics, though this is not the only environment which can elicit it. Any disorganized pattern of parental care may be the trigger for this type of psychological hyper-awareness. It may even seem to be an asset - "What a wonderfully sensitive child!", people may exclaim - yet it is not, because it eventually traps the adult into a pattern of codependence.
Yet other children become extremely emotional, over-vocalizing and over-dramatizing constantly, because they have learned that unless they do so their needs will be overlooked. Quite often these children grow up to be "borderline" patients, who have enormous difficulty in regulating their own feelings. Internally, they feel as though they are on a constant roller-coaster of emotions which threaten to overwhelm their already very fragile sense of self. They can no longer distinguish between "real" hurt and artificially exaggerated feelings, and they may be known as the drama queens (or kings!) of their families.
Psychotherapy later in life can help enormously in bringing calm and stability, as we all know. But such therapy is painful. To learn to re-programme our feelings, we have to re-experience them in all their complexity, so that we can then "do differently". Such therapy is vital if adults who have experienced very difficult childhoods are to be able to lead organized, fruitful lives, or as we say in the Work, to become Good Householders.
And babies do not have to be subjected to cruelty to undergo the sort of brain changes which Gerhardt describes. Sometimes, the mother is simply unavailable, even when physically present, because she is not at ease with the baby's feelings and does not know how to soothe them. Some mothers have to leave the baby with caregivers to go out to work, and they may not be aware of the way those caregivers actually treat the baby when she herself is not there. Perhaps the caregivers are simply interested in earning money and care little for the child's needs. Gerhardt points out, however, that a patient, loving caregiver can be just as good as, if not better than, the mother herself; what matters is the quality of the care that is given, rather than who is giving it, a fact which should reassure many working mothers.
Fortunately, as stated above, much damage can be repaired if the adult is able to go into therapy. Without such help, however, the outlook can be bleak. Later, in an attempt to lull emotional pain, the adult who was an unhappy, emotionally neglected baby may take to alcohol or opiates. Again, the genetic predisposition will influence which escape route seems easiest or most effective.
Of particular interest to Work students is the new understanding that the brain works best when both emotions and instincts are operating harmoniously together. The ability to achieve this harmony depends wholly on our early life experiences. When this state is present, the rational faculty is also able to function at its best.
"The brain constructs representations of internal bodily states," Gerhardt says, "links them to other stored representations, and then signals back to the body in a process of internal feedback, which may then trigger off further bodily feelings in a cyclical process".
We may call these "stored representations" different I's. This is why, in the Work, we strive to be conscious in all centres, for many I's are stored in each centre, and will influence us without our awareness unless we are trained to observe ourselves. We cannot truly understand ourselves and observe our various I's unless we are conscious in our moving/instinctive centre, our emotional centre and our intellectual centre.
All three centres may either work together productively, as is our aim, or may, as is often the reality, hinder each other because of repressed and unconscious I's that interfere with the centres' efficiency.
Gerhardt's book is too long and too complex to be easily summarized, but I hope I have given you a sufficient taste of it to make you interested in reading her work for yourself. Many counsellors and psychologists have read the first edition as part of their coursework, but in 2015 a new edition was published which incorporates new research in genetics and mental development.
The book is: "Why Love Matters" by Sue Gerhardt - ISBN 978-0-415-87053-5
Publisher: Routledge
2nd edition 2015
Because without it, life would not be worth living. Without it, we would be less than human. And without its irreplaceable influence in our earliest years, our brains would not develop to their full potential. We could not become fully functioning three-brained beings if we had not been loved as infants.
Psychologist Sue Gerhardt's book, "Why Love Matters," now in its second edition, is of the greatest interest to anyone who cares about human development, personal psychology, abnormal psychology and personality theory. This surely includes everyone reading this blog, and I can't recommend it too highly.
We all know now that the personality of the baby is formed by a complex and delicate process of interaction between the genetic endowment of the child - in Work terms, the Essence with which she is born - and the environment in which she lives. In the world of the tiny baby, the influence of the mother is paramount, and that intimate relationship has the greatest effect of all on what kind of person her baby will become.
Will the child grow to be a secure, well-loved adult, someone capable of loving and empathizing with others? Or will she become an addict, a narcissist, an anxious, obsessive-compulsive sufferer or even a psychopath?
We bring our own special and unique DNA into the world. This is most often a less-than-perfect inheritance; for example, you may have genes that could predispose you to alcohol or opiate addiction, to overeating, or to aggression. But whether or not those genes eventually hold sway over your adult personality depends to a very great extent on the type of mothering you received in the first two years of your life.
Nothing new, you may think. After all, John Bowlby, Melanie Klein, Erich Fromm and many others have written on the various stages of child development and described how the family influences the type of personality, and of course to us in the Work, the false personality, that the child will eventually acquire.
You would be wrong, however, for in this book what Gerhardt does is to actually describe - with diagrams - the effects that different types of mother-baby relationships have on the brain's formation. And this is something new and infinitely valuable for our understanding of how personalities - and, of course, false personalities - come into existence.
As an example, if a loving, empathic relationship is not present for the baby at the very earliest age, that child's orbitofrontal complex does not develop as it should. This part of the brain is responsible for the ability to delay gratification, to manage feelings and to participate in relationships. Early deprivation means that the baby may never fully achieve these abilities. If the opportunity is missed in infancy, the growing child, even if adopted into a loving family, may forever be robbed of his full potential.
Even in pregnancy, stress experienced by the mother can shape the developing brain of her unborn child, influencing the volume of the hippocampus or the amygdala. Some babies are born already stressed, and the mother may experience the baby's crying and refusal to feed as a rejection of her, and then may emotionally withdraw further from her child.
It is the quality and strength of the parents' love, particularly that of the mother, which enables the brain to develop normally. Mothers who are under stress, whether through being a single parent without the support of a partner or family, or through low income or poor housing, or in an abusive relationship, are often unable to show their baby the quality of love that is necessary for proper development. There is good news, however, for with professional help, especially if this help is given at a very early stage, the mother and baby bond may be repaired sufficiently so that the child can develop normally.
Much depends on the ability of the mother (or the primary caregiver, if this is not the biological mother) to understand and manage her own feelings, and in particular to be able to tolerate uncomfortable feelings and relationships without letting them affect her behaviour towards her child.
The ways that children develop will follow certain patterns, which are of course also dependent on the genetic makeup of the child.
Some children may respond to their mother's discomfort by learning to hold back their own feelings, denying them sufficiently that the adults around them may see them as calm, unconcerned children with whom all is well. Underneath, however, many children are a filled with alarming, painful feelings which they know will only distress their caregivers; such children put on a false mask of "OK-ness" which does not reflect their true states. To those of us in the Work, we may see this as one basic characteristic of what will become that child's false personality. It seems that the beginnings of false personality, though not its full-blown manifestations, can arise at a much earlier age than was previously believed.
Some children may become hyper-sensitive to the state of their parents' emotions, so that they learn to read them with an almost psychic attunement. In reality, they have learned very early on to pick up signals from the adults which show when they are most likely to be attentive to the child. The child then times their own demands so that they will get maximum attention, but at the cost of repressing the child's pain. Such behaviour has been observed in many adult children of alcoholics, though this is not the only environment which can elicit it. Any disorganized pattern of parental care may be the trigger for this type of psychological hyper-awareness. It may even seem to be an asset - "What a wonderfully sensitive child!", people may exclaim - yet it is not, because it eventually traps the adult into a pattern of codependence.
Yet other children become extremely emotional, over-vocalizing and over-dramatizing constantly, because they have learned that unless they do so their needs will be overlooked. Quite often these children grow up to be "borderline" patients, who have enormous difficulty in regulating their own feelings. Internally, they feel as though they are on a constant roller-coaster of emotions which threaten to overwhelm their already very fragile sense of self. They can no longer distinguish between "real" hurt and artificially exaggerated feelings, and they may be known as the drama queens (or kings!) of their families.
Psychotherapy later in life can help enormously in bringing calm and stability, as we all know. But such therapy is painful. To learn to re-programme our feelings, we have to re-experience them in all their complexity, so that we can then "do differently". Such therapy is vital if adults who have experienced very difficult childhoods are to be able to lead organized, fruitful lives, or as we say in the Work, to become Good Householders.
And babies do not have to be subjected to cruelty to undergo the sort of brain changes which Gerhardt describes. Sometimes, the mother is simply unavailable, even when physically present, because she is not at ease with the baby's feelings and does not know how to soothe them. Some mothers have to leave the baby with caregivers to go out to work, and they may not be aware of the way those caregivers actually treat the baby when she herself is not there. Perhaps the caregivers are simply interested in earning money and care little for the child's needs. Gerhardt points out, however, that a patient, loving caregiver can be just as good as, if not better than, the mother herself; what matters is the quality of the care that is given, rather than who is giving it, a fact which should reassure many working mothers.
Fortunately, as stated above, much damage can be repaired if the adult is able to go into therapy. Without such help, however, the outlook can be bleak. Later, in an attempt to lull emotional pain, the adult who was an unhappy, emotionally neglected baby may take to alcohol or opiates. Again, the genetic predisposition will influence which escape route seems easiest or most effective.
Of particular interest to Work students is the new understanding that the brain works best when both emotions and instincts are operating harmoniously together. The ability to achieve this harmony depends wholly on our early life experiences. When this state is present, the rational faculty is also able to function at its best.
"The brain constructs representations of internal bodily states," Gerhardt says, "links them to other stored representations, and then signals back to the body in a process of internal feedback, which may then trigger off further bodily feelings in a cyclical process".
We may call these "stored representations" different I's. This is why, in the Work, we strive to be conscious in all centres, for many I's are stored in each centre, and will influence us without our awareness unless we are trained to observe ourselves. We cannot truly understand ourselves and observe our various I's unless we are conscious in our moving/instinctive centre, our emotional centre and our intellectual centre.
All three centres may either work together productively, as is our aim, or may, as is often the reality, hinder each other because of repressed and unconscious I's that interfere with the centres' efficiency.
Gerhardt's book is too long and too complex to be easily summarized, but I hope I have given you a sufficient taste of it to make you interested in reading her work for yourself. Many counsellors and psychologists have read the first edition as part of their coursework, but in 2015 a new edition was published which incorporates new research in genetics and mental development.
The book is: "Why Love Matters" by Sue Gerhardt - ISBN 978-0-415-87053-5
Publisher: Routledge
2nd edition 2015
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