"Courageously and even joyously"

The above phrase is taken from a beautiful prayer that is said every day by members of a Catholic apostolate.

In context, it is "Lord ... bless my brothers and sisters ... and may we all glorify you and give proof of our love for you by bearing courageously and even joyously the cross which is ours" (my italics).

The prayer is spoken each morning by members of a Catholic apostolate for people with chronic sickness or disabilities, CUSA (Catholic Union of the Sick in America). It's part of a longer prayer, and there is also an evening prayer which accompanies their night time reflections. During the day, members are encouraged to raise their hearts and minds to God, and to remember that they carry a cross which, though painful and hard to bear, can bring healing to others and to mankind as a whole.

Despite its name, CUSA is international, with members in many countries who keep in touch with each other by letter or email, in smaller groups, and encourage one another to grow spiritually through the "joyous" acceptance of their crosses. Each group has a spiritual adviser who is a member of a religious order and who also suffers long-term sickness or disability.

In its attitude to suffering, CUSA is very close to the Work teaching.

The Catholic church, as far as I know, is the only Christian organization which has preserved Christ's sublime teaching on suffering. It tells us that when we offer up our personal suffering, whether physical or mental, we assist suffering people all over the world, and even assist Jesus Christ in his plan for the redemption of mankind.

St Paul exhorts us to join to Jesus's passion on the Cross all the suffering that is ours on Earth, and to bear all things with calmness and patience, including the difficult knowledge of our own inadequacy to the task.

Gurdjieff actually showed us how this cross-bearing could help others, could even help God. He taught that when we bear misfortunes and suffering with patience and goodwill, we create a very fine substance that God needs for his saving work, and which helps the universe to evolve. This substance he called "higher hydrogens".

All of us, Gurdjieff said, will release a quantity of this energy when we die. But, if we wish, we may also participate in God's plan for salvation by acting against our self-will during life, by bearing one another's unpleasant manifestations, by accepting all the many kinds of suffering that come our way and refusing to be defeated by them.

Of course, suffering takes many forms. One particular type, which all of us in the Work must bear, is that of seeing ourselves as we really are, with all our mechanicalness, negativity and ill-will. We must  look at the harm our False Personality causes, the many I's within us that harbour negativity, resentment, and so on. When we truly see all this without flinching and without turning away from it, we open the way for our own transformation and for the fine energy of creation, the higher hydrogens, to be released.

Catholic Christians, if they honestly try to live out their faith, are faced with the truth of themselves in their daily self-examination and also when they make confession to a priest. We're encouraged to leave nothing out, but to be completely honest and unsparing in our account of ourselves and the sins we've committed "in thought and in word, in what I have done and in what I have failed to do". And we ask for the prayers of others, especially the saints, to help us in our determination to avoid sin in the future. We know that the communion of saints is real, and that we can all help one another - both the living and those gone before us - in the great work of spiritual growth.

In the Work, it is our daily task to note the ways in which we continually fail to live up to our ideals, fail to keep our aim. But we don't become discouraged because of this - far from it! We know this honest facing of our failures is the necessary prerequisite to spiritual growth. We fail anyway, so to be given the opportunity to actually see what we are like, and how we behave, think and feel, is a tremendous blessing. We don't judge ourselves, we don't criticize ourselves for our failures. That is simply the way we are. We accept this knowledge, and resolve to renew our efforts.

God does not judge or criticize us when we are honest with Him. Jesus did not condemn the woman taken in adultery, but told her go and sin no more. That is what we must do, as Work students, as would-be Christians.

Members of AA do this each day when they take their inventory. Again, it is not an instrument of condemnation but an aid to greater self-knowledge, and to be welcomed. The love of God is made plain in the AA community, where AA members can be honest with one another and can forgive and help to heal the wounded member. M. Scott Peck says that AA shows what a truly Christian community would be like. And the same is true for all AA's offshoot organizations - Alanon, Narcotics Anonymous, Emotions Anonymous, and so on.

As well as the burden of self-knowledge, the additional crosses we are given vary with each individual. For some, they will be the trials imposed by those we live with and care about - the sick, the addicted, the continual calls on our love and goodwill.

For alcoholics and addicts it includes their particular addiction, along with the character defects that accompany it. There are many, too, who struggle with other forms of addiction, such as codependence, sex addiction, compulsive helping, addiction to spending, and much more.

For members of CUSA, as well as for many who've never heard of that organization, our crosses include chronic, ongoing physical and mental suffering which is part of daily lot and which would, without spiritual insight, become a means of destroying our faith and our hope.

Some members are physically disabled, like me. Many readers know that I use a wheelchair for much of the time and cope with various types of pain and disability as a result of a near-fatal car crash I experienced in 1983. The effects of that crash on my body will never disappear, and will get worse each year. But in contrast, the spiritual benefits - the insights, the understanding, the ability to carry my own cross, and much more - have been beyond all I could have imagined. The apparent catastrophe has been turned into a blessing, thank God. And it's the Work, the teaching of esoteric Christianity, which has brought about this reversal.

I'm also tremendously grateful to the many Catholic saints, such as St Therese of Lisieux, Padre Pio, and St John Paul II, who have offered us the example of their own suffering willingly borne and who have shown us the way to carry our own cross. And as well as trying to imitate their superb example, we can profit from their prayers. They understand suffering because, like Jesus, they have undergone it themselves. A god, a saint, who is beyond all pain and who had never suffered would be useless to us who must cope with suffering on Earth.

You don't have to be a Catholic to understand this teaching, but it definitely helps, because the church upholds and promotes the value of suffering whilst other churches - and the world at large - see suffering as quite useless. It is one of the reasons why Gurdjieff said the Catholic church was a true religious path, along with the Orthodox Churches; most Protestants have largely lost sight of the true value of suffering.

Other members of CUSA have serious mental problems, such as schizophrenia or depression; yet others battle with chronic, progressive conditions such as Parkinson's or Alzheimer's diseases.

But what joins us all together in CUSA is our love of God and our determination to use the crosses we have been given as a way of coming closer to Him and of taking part in his plan of salvation for the world.

And the phrase that I carry round with me at all times is that which I've quoted in the title of this post - "courageously and even joyously".

What a wonderful exhortation! And how impossible it sounds when we first hear it! We would all agree that courage is needed to bear our individual cross, but how can that cross possibly be carried "joyously"?

How can we be glad that we're physically handicapped, or mentally ill, or suffering the scourge of alcoholism? How can this possibly be turned to joy?

The answer is, of course, because it brings us closer to God, and most particularly to the sufferings God experiences in the person of Jesus.

Anyone who makes a serious effort to carry their cross not only with courage but also with joy will find a wonderful new energy, so fine as to be almost imperceptible at first, filling their spirit. If they are in the Work, they will know that this is a positive emotion, sent by God via the Higher Emotional Centre, to encourage them and console them.

It is the love of God made manifest to our limited perception.

And the only way to know that love is bear our cross - courageously and yes, even joyously.

Above all, keep in mind the words of Thomas a Kempis:

"Nothing, how little so ever it be, if it is suffered for God's sake, can pass without merit in the sight of God".