Addiction: Could It Be A Chief Feature?

When they learn that I'm a recovering alcoholic, people in the Work sometimes ask me whether that's my Chief Feature. More, they assume that if anyone has an addiction - and there are many more of us addicts in the Work than you would suppose, because students are often unwilling to admit to being an addict or alcoholic in the context of their Work group - then that addiction must be their Chief Feature.

I disagree.

In my own experience, which includes many years of counselling addicts and alcoholics in a rehab centre as well as for a GP surgery, addiction is not someone's Chief Feature. Rather, it is the way in which a particular Chief Feature may be manifested. 

If you observe the behaviour of an addict or an alcoholic (and for the sake of clarity, I'm going to use the term "addict" here to cover both), you'll see that driving the addiction is a particular set of negative emotional responses to life situations. Those negative emotions may well disclose the addict's Chief Feature.

What's more, the Chief Feature also shows itself in the denial and the excuses an addict will make for not tackling their addiction by, for instance, joining a Twelve Step group or entering rehab.

For example, in my own case, my alcoholic drinking was fuelled by a longing for emotional wellbeing and a yearning for the stability of a loving relationship. Nothing wrong with that, you may say, and I'd agree - so far. But in addition, I was envious of those who seemed to me to have achieved that state, and my envy was aided by a sort of deep-seated naivete which meant that I trusted that sooner or later events would arrange themselves in my life so that I could be happy. And in the meantime, I drank. Envy and naivete were the twin negative emotions that powered my addiction. 

And naivete was perhaps the worse of the two, strange as that may seem. 

Why? Because it stopped me from seeking help when my drinking was obviously getting out of hand. I naively thought that I couldn't be an alcoholic because I was an intelligent, middle-class woman in a good job, with a nice house, high-achieving children, and a respectable lifestyle. For goodness' sake, I was in the Work! People like me couldn't possibly be addicted - could they?

Of course they could. I was. And when I finally saw through all the self-deception, all my misplaced trust that life and other people would help me sort out my problems, when I realized that my drinking had brought me to an absolute rock bottom in my life - then, and only then, was my naivety broken, and I took the immense step of telephoning AA. That was the start of my recovery. I've told my story in my memoir, "A Raging Thirst", but this is the bare outline of what happened.

In other addicts, it may be pride that prevents them from seeking recovery, pride that stops them admitting they are addicts. Pride that propels their social life, pride at being the "life and soul of the party", or the yuppie with the biggest stash of cocaine. After all, it does give a certain social standing among one's peers. 

What a pity that sooner or later, instead of the cheerful, outgoing soul of the party they imagine themselves to be, they realize that their friends just see them as poor old Jim, who always passes out on the sofa. Or silly Jane, her nose dusted with white powder and hopelessly in debt to her dealer, desperately trying to maintain her self-respect as her non-addict friends eventually abandon her to her addiction.

In the Enneagram, each point, each number, is given a "passion" or "addiction",the terms varying according to which book you read.

These emotional addictions, the place to which we habitually gravitate under stress, varies from anger to sloth, by way of pride, deceit, envy, avarice, fear and gluttony. These negative emotions are the rallying point for the real Chief Feature, although it's important to point out that these terms are very broad brush-strokes which can't portray the subtlety of a real life Chief Feature. Years of patient self-observation in the context of a Work group, and with the help of one's teacher, eventually show one the exact pattern of one's Chief Feature, how it manifests, how it interacts with others, and how it spoils everything we touch.

And this real Chief Feature, which underlies our whole False Personality and causes us to act mechanically, self-destructively, is what drives our addiction to alcohol or drugs.

The actual addiction is a set of very tenacious and very strong I's, which latch on to alcohol or drugs as a means of satisfying the distress and discomfort our Chief Feature causes us in everyday life.

Addiction in this sense is partly genetic and partly due to the environment. For instance, if you have a predisposition to alcohol addiction (which can tentatively be linked to certain genetic markers), but you grow up in a teetotal society, you might instead become addicted to cocaine or marijuana. 

The genetic pattern we inherit means that in many ways we addicts can be said to have "a skin too few". We don't make enough of our own endorphins to feel at ease in life, or our receptors don't process them adequately. We crave a relief that other people don't seem to need. And when this craving combines with our Chief Feature, we have the perfect setup for the defiance of the addict who believes he "needs" his drug of choice, that he can't function without it, that it's what helps him deal with his problems, rather than being the source of most of those problems.

I once took Richard Rohr to task - not in person, but in a review - because he states in his book on the Twelve Steps that everyone is an addict. In a sense, of course, he was right. And he made that blanket statement because most people do have "addictions" of some sort, from obsessive hand-washing to venting anger or eating too much chocolate, and by identifying these addictions and the thinking that propels them, his audience could better understand the way the Twelve Steps work.

So far, so good. But to a real addict, suffering torment in the early days of recovery, it seems a mockery to equate his ordeal with the temptation felt by an overweight lady in the presence of a Mars bar! The Mars bar may be eaten with relative impunity. In the end, the consumption of excess sugar and fat will make one put on weight, but it will be a slow process. Nobody wrecked a sweetshop because of their craving for sugar! Nobody gets into a fight outside a supermarket because they've just consumed two candy bars!

And if the overweight lady does eat the Mars bar, so what? She has another chance to go back on her diet immediately afterwards. The slip doesn't kill her. She won't die from giving in to her craving.

But if the alcoholic succumbs to his own craving and picks up that first drink, it may well turn out to be the start of his final binge, the one that leads to his sordid death in a shop doorway, choking on his own body fluids. Or to a despairing act of suicide when he realizes what he has done.

Or the cocaine addict, giving in to the urge to score one more line, may drop dead of a heart attack. That is a very real possibility. The gene for this response has been identified, and I have it myself, so I'm very glad I couldn't afford to be a cocaine addict in my time of desperation.

Surely we can all agree that these addictions are different not just in effect, but in kind. One carries the imminent danger of death, while the other costs only money or causes a temporary health problem.

When the addict comes to write his moral inventory, he will surely discover his Chief Feature; if he's not in the Work he will not call it by that name, but will see it as a major character defect which drives his drinking career, and which must be overcome before he can achieve sobriety.

I wish more people in the Work had the courage to admit their addiction to their teacher and to their group. Gurdjieff helped a number of alcoholics, one example of which is given in "Meetings With Remarkable Men". He did not despise us, and neither should anyone else in the Work. Gurdjieff showed great compassion towards alcoholics, his understanding being, as usual, far ahead of his time. If anyone in a Work group today admits to an addiction, they should expect to be treated likewise.

And if one day addiction is talked about openly in groups, it will help us come closer to understanding its relationship to our personal work, and lead us more surely towards discovering our own Chief Feature.

When Someone Leaves the Work

There have always been those who drift in - and then out of - the Work. In Work language, they're called Tramps. They have no Magnetic Centre, but they are attracted by passing novelties and see the Work as another possible interest. When it becomes clear that they are not going to be carried along in a group as a passenger, or when they themselves lose interest, they leave. They have never been part of the Work, so they can't be said to have left it.

If a student leaves the Work after having studied it and worked on themselves for a while, however, the problem is usually that the Work has touched a sore spot. The Work has "trodden on their corns". And, instead of staying in front of the problem and working with their offended I's with the help of their teacher, the student simply decides to leave. It is huge disappointment to the teacher when that happens, because such a state of discomfort, if persevered with, can bring enlightenment.

But if the conflicted student leaves, he now becomes a problem for the group. He poses a danger: what should be done about him, so that he won't threaten the work of the group?

In earlier days, the direction was simple. If someone left the Work, they must be avoided. The remaining students were to have nothing to do with them. 

Why? Because, harsh as it sounds, this was the best solution.

To understand this school rule, we need to see what actually becomes of the person who's left the Work; how do they behave, and why would they pose a danger to the others?

We know that the Work penetrates through our Personality to our Essence, and on the way it illuminates the problems of the False Personality, which must be dissolved. The False Personality surrounds Personality like a crust, but Essence recognizes the truths of the Work, and desires that the crust should be broken. 

With perseverance and courage, the Work touches the outer parts of centres, then reaches the middle parts, and finally the inner, where real transformation may take place.

But at any time before that transformation has occurred, the False Personality - and especially the Chief Feature - knows it is under threat, and will try to defend itself. 

Sometimes it does so by persuading the student that he must at all costs leave the Work - that the Work is dangerous (which it is, to all that is false and unreal in us), and threatens the student's survival (which it certainly does not, unless the student is too identified with the False Personality to see beyond it).

The False Personality and the Chief Feature can gang up against the Personality and Essence, as it were, so that a real inner battle takes place. And sometimes the student, desperate to end a trying state of conflict and unwilling to take the advice of their teacher and Work colleagues, decides the only way to escape from it is to leave the group.

And for a while, indeed, the conflict may seem to subside. But not for long. If the student has been really touched by the Work, his Essence knows that it has tasted truth. And Essence longs for that taste to be renewed and continued, because the truth brings light, and light brings healing.

The student is then in a constant state of battle. And, having left the group and cut himself off from his teacher, he has no help in conquering the False Personality.

For a while, his Work memory may carry him, but not for very long. In such a state, he needs more than intellectual knowledge and memory; he needs real help in the form of spiritual energies, those higher hydrogens which the group has helped him to generate within himself, and the energies of the teacher, who has supported and nourished him hitherto.

Without that support, the student will be lost. He can no longer work on himself.

To attain any feeling of peace, however spurious, he must at all costs convince himself that he did the right thing in leaving.

And there lies the danger for the rest of the group. 

In attempting to calm himself and justify his actions, he will try to draw others into the battle, against the Work and against the teacher. If he can persuade other people to join him in leaving the Work, his False Personality and Chief Feature will stay quiescent and his Real Conscience - which longs for the Work - may be silenced, at least for a while.

So he will argue against the Work with the students who remain, if they are foolish enough to meet with him. These days, a blanket ban is impossible to enforce, but common sense and respect for the group and their teacher means that most students will voluntarily avoid the company of the dissenter. If by chance they do meet, sensible students will refuse to discuss the Work with the one who has abandoned it, because they no longer share the same values. 

They know the Work is too precious, too valuable, for them to wish to put themselves at risk of losing it.

Sometimes students who leave after several years will persuade themselves that they can carry on working by themselves, but as we have seen, such work cannot long continue. It is no longer sustained by the teacher, no longer nourished by the group. They may pretend to themselves that they are working, but that is all it is, a pretence. At the deepest level, they know that.

Occasionally, students may try to form a breakaway Work group. It, too, will be a fake, a counterfeit. The ex-student cannot create a real Work community, because he has voluntarily cut himself off from the source. Without an authorized, experienced teacher - someone capable of conducting the spiritual energies of the group and of adding to them with their own higher hydrogens - the group becomes a shadow play. 

Of course, if the remaining students are secure in their own group, and respect their teacher, they will not be easily persuaded to leave it for an imitation. But, until that deep transformation takes place and raises the state of Being, each Work student harbours I's that doubt and question the Work. Normally, such questions will be discussed with the teacher. But if the stage of doubt coincides with meeting a discontented former student, then real damage may be done to those who remain.

This was the reason why the ban was instituted. 

The best course of action today, if we meet someone who has left the Work, is to simply decline to discuss it with them. We change the subject, refuse to argue. If we think the ex-student has real regrets over what he has done and sincerely longs to rejoin the group, we refer him back to the teacher. It may be possible that someone feels true repentance and has completely changed his attitude towards the Work. If so, he might be allowed back into the Work, though not into the same group as before. He will probably be placed in a different group altogether, and will have to start again.

Actually, this happens very, very rarely. In the real world, most students who leave the Work don't dare face the agony and remorse of conscience that genuine repentance brings. They would rather keep trying to convince themselves - and others - that they were right all along. And this is a tragic end to their Work life.

We know that meeting the Work is a great privilege. It comes only to those with Magnetic Centre, and only for a space of three lifetimes. After that, our chance to work on ourselves in the Fourth Way will be permanently over.

And we don't know in which lifetime we are currently living. Is this the first time we have met the Work? Did we meet it in a previous life? In two previous lives? We cannot be certain. Therefore, let everyone who values the Work and who wishes with all their heart to remain in it, stay strong in the face of temptation.

This is the inner battle, and we have the help of all our Work teachers, from Gurdjieff to the present, to help us win. And we have the great sustenance of Conscious Humanity, who, in their compassion, long for all those who are in the Work to be transformed. 

Borderline Personality Disorder - When the Chief Feature Seems to be the Entire Personality

Chief Feature is sometimes easy to spot, but at other times extremely elusive. And sometimes, as other Work writers have pointed out, the Chief Feature seems to be the whole of the person! As a counsellor as well as a Work teacher, I believe this happens when the person concerned has a so-called "personality disorder", which affects their entire personality and their false personality. And with personality disorders, it's hard to distinguish where personality ends and false personality begins - hence the confusion.

Most people with personality disorders aren't interested in the Work. Those suffering from Narcissistic, Anti-Social, or Histrionic disorders - as well as many more - tend to blame other people for all their problems, and see no reason why they themselves should change. They are not usually depressed or unhappy, and neither the Work nor counselling attracts them.

But there is another type of disorder I want to consider here: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Those who suffer from it often feel unhappy and dissatisfied with themselves. They sense there's something not right about their own psychological makeup, if only because they so often experience painful depression or anxiety, and they want to change. The Work attracts them because of the opportunity it offers to bring about a radical shift in their psychology. But their illness often prevents them from working on themselves in depth, when the Work begins to touch the inner parts of centres, because of the distress that looking within and observing themselves can cause.

Nevertheless, the BPD sufferer can benefit from the Work - if both they and their teacher understand the disorder and work with it.

For this to be possible, counselling is almost always necessary either before beginning the Work or for periods during the student's Work life; to avoid role conflict, counselling should take place with someone other than the Work teacher, and the Work itself temporarily suspended for the duration of the counselling.

In these conditions, BPD students can become valuable members of the group, and may even go on to become Work teachers once their inner world has been reordered and healed. Their condition may eventually lead them to great compassion and insight towards others with psychological problems.

But what exactly is BPD?

Although it has long been recognized, the condition came to public notice some years ago, when a number of psychologists theorized that the late Princess Diana suffered from it. And although we can't be certain that she did in fact have BPD, she certainly displayed a number of telling symptoms.

There are nine diagnostic criteria for BPD, and to be diagnosed with this illness the client must display at least five of them. In no particular order, because all are of equal importance, they are:-

An abnormal fear of abandonment or rejection;
A pattern of unstable, intense personal relationships which alternate between extreme liking (or loving) and extreme devaluation and belittlement of the people with whom they interact;
Identity problems: a marked and persistently unstable self image and sense of self;
Impulsive behaviour in at least two of the following areas: overspending; sex; substance abuse; reckless driving; binge eating; self harm; gambling. The person places themselves willingly into harm's way, sometimes by choosing to be around substance abusers or alcoholics, or reckless drivers;
Recurrent suicidal thoughts or behaviour;
Marked and severe mood swings, such as depression, anger, irritability or anxiety, which last a few hours but rarely more than a few days (unlike bi-polar patients);
Chronic feelings of emptiness and worthlessness;
Displays of inappropriate, intense anger, and difficulty controlling the expression of anger;
Signs of paranoia, sometimes of paranoid rage, usually when under stress; the patient falsely imagines that friends or others close to them are attacking them.

Additionally, though it's not a criterion for diagnosis, it is remarkable how often the family of a BPD sufferer contains alcoholics or drug abusers, and this has led some researches to conjecture there may be a genetic link.

It has also been suggested that the part of the brain corresponding to this disease can be demonstrated; researchers in this field say that the left brain, and possibly the fusiform gyrus, may show signs of change that correlate with this illness. Of course, we cannot say from this whether such brain changes, if they exist, cause the illness or result from it.

The effects of  the above symptoms are apparent in the life of the BPD sufferer, which is usually marked by a series of broken relationships. Sudden breaks occur when the BPD sufferer imagines hostility in a close relationship (see the second and ninth symptom above); anger and even rage may be expressed, friends are abruptly dropped, family members are avoided.

The broken relationships are the result of the BPD patient's behaviour, which can be extremely distressing. Friends and family members are quite unaware of what they may have said or done to provoke such a hostile reaction - indeed, in reality they may have done nothing. But, faced with the BPD sufferer's anger and belittlement, they may feel they have no choice but to protect themselves by ending the relationship. Such breaches may be lifelong, since the BPD patient, lacking insight into the effects of their own behaviour, rarely apologizes.

To apologize would be to acknowledge having done something wrong, and this possibility is too upsetting to be faced.

The BPD sufferer has a deep, distressing feeling of emptiness, of utter worthlessness, due to inadequate mothering as a child. The mother rejected or seemed to reject the child, who then internalized the rejection and believed himself to be at fault. As an adult, the BPD sufferer is always looking for signs of rejection, abandonment, or negative emotions in those close to them, which obviously has a very distorting - sometimes fatal - effect on their relationships. They never quite feel they belong anywhere.

Studies have demonstrated that, when shown photographs of faces expressing various emotions, the BPD client is likely to interpret a neutral expression as being angry. Skewed perceptions of this sort can easily pose great problems in daily interactions, as even a mild expression of disagreement or a dissenting word often seem to these clients to be aggressive or rejecting.

Additionally, seeking for a sense of self worth can lead the BPD to try out many activities, ideas and philosophies, although usually they do not last long because none can bring the inner reassurance and calm which the sufferer so badly needs. Hobbies are eagerly taken up and then rapidly abandoned. Solutions to distress are sought in therapies such as diet or exercise; timetables and plans are made; sometimes expensive equipment is purchased; then, the next month, a new "remedy" is found.

But, difficult as this condition is for the sufferer, there is hope for those willing to persevere, and counselling can be very fruitful for this type of client.

The type of therapy chosen is usually a method that works with the cognitive skills, or the Intellectual Centre. Prolonged psychoanalysis can be counter-productive, because the client is led back into the past and easily gets stuck in it. Moreover, since BPD clients are usually likable and possess good verbal skills, the therapist can be led into colluding with them, believing that there really is nothing much wrong with their client and agreeing that it is all the fault of other people that their relationships are so difficult!

Using cognitive skills, however, the client can be helped to see patterns of black and white thinking, of recurrent anxious or angry thoughts and feelings, and to observe the effects of their own actions on other people. This type of therapy (CBT) can help the client to reduce the severity of negative emotions and to include the Intellectual Centre as well as the Emotional Centre in conducting relationships. Of course, these are Work terms, not those used in counselling.

A relatively new type of therapy - Dialectical Behaviour Therapy - is actually quite similar to the Work technique of self-observation, and can be very helpful to BPD sufferers. The client is encouraged to stay in the present moment, to be mindful of their thoughts and feelings, and of their physical state when experiencing them. Over time, the BPD client may learn to control intense emotions, to reduce destructive and self-destructive behaviours, and to improve their relationships.

One problem faced by BPD sufferers is they are often completely unable to see the effect that their own behaviour has upon others. They may insult and attack people, especially if they feel that their own beliefs and ideas are threatened, reacting with paranoia to any type of disagreement. In their own mind, these aggressive reactions are completely justified, and they cannot understand why friends, colleagues or family members are hurt and distressed by them. The day after they have attacked someone verbally, they may completely "forget" what they have done, and expect the other person to be as pleasant and friendly as ever. They are bewildered when this does not happen.

Of course, the "forgetting" is a defence mechanism, or a buffer, a form of repression which enables the BPD patient to bury their own destructive behaviours below the level of consciousness. The sufferer cannot bear to feel that he or she has done something destructive, or that people may be hurt by them, because this realization could trigger the fear of abandonment which always underscores every relationship. Ironically, this behaviour may bring about the very rejection they seek to avert.

A further problem for BPD sufferers is their lack of good boundaries. They easily become codependent and place too much reliance on other people. They can quickly become over-familiar with others, too, and try to impose their own beliefs and ideas upon them. The closer such a person becomes, the more the BPD feels he has the right to insult them and ignore their feelings. And he genuinely cannot see why such conduct is offensive and harmful, so he cannot resolve conflicts by apologizing and adjusting his own behaviour.

With all these problems, the BPD may still be a fun, lively friend, and a good companion, always providing that others make allowance for her sometimes destructive conduct. In counselling, BPD clients can make good progress and may eventually succeed in changing their behaviour and their attitudes to gain real insight and to maintain good relationships. Their experience of mood swings can make them empathic and compassionate friends and helpers, as long as they avoid codependence.

In a Work group, an unhealed BPD student is a liability. I have had two BPD students. One had actually once been a student of Beryl Pogson, and was excluded from Mrs Pogson's group because of his paranoid attitudes and attacks on other students. Of course, he did not inform me of this fact when he applied to join my own group! I later learned of his history from Marian Davison, my own teacher, and then I understood why this student was so difficult.

I possessed the private records from Mrs Pogson's meetings, and from them I saw that he had not changed at all in 20 years. He was making exactly the same objections and offering the same harsh judgements in my group as he had done with Mrs Pogson.  He had no insight into his own false personality and its effects on others, and was incapable of working on himself. After a few meetings I had to ask him to leave - and he was extremely angry with me for doing so. He really could not see himself as others saw him, and this was his tragedy.

Another BPD student, however, has done very well.  She realized from her own observations that she had many problems, but she had a strong Magnetic Centre and truly wished to work. From time to time she would temporarily leave the Work group in order to have counselling from a therapist experienced in helping such clients, and eventually she gained much insight. Her level of Being began to change, and I believe that one day she may become a Work teacher. If she does, her illness will have given her the advantage that being a Wounded Healer brings.